Fictional - Valentine's Last Experiment
by dysphorite
Summary: November Highriver has been looking forward to Halloween for months and has been planning her costume for longer. Though, when arriving at the party, she immediately regrets her decision. But she thought that at worst it would end end with her calling an ambulance, not a warlock. This year, the lines of fiction and reality will blur. This year, November is going as a Shadowhunter
1. Halloween

CHAPTER I

 _Halloween_

* * *

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"

My phone drops from where it was pressed against my ear, landing on the wood flooring with a deafening clatter. Groaning and rubbing my ear, I lean down to pick it back up.

"Damn," I mutter under my breath "I can hear her from here"

I gingerly press the phone back against my ear, using my head to keep it wedged between my ear and my shoulder as I re-start at applying my fake runes. My best friend Octavia still chatters on and on through the phone, with a volume rivalling foghorns, about her costume and the party and this and that. I've taken to only half listen, grunting and okaying, here and there to somewhat contribute to the conversation; though unnecessary, Octavia is quite capable of maintaining a full out conversation of one.

"Come on, are you ready yet Nove? The party starts at 9 and it's already 6:30 and I don't want to be late, we don't even know where this place is and who else is going. OOH!" I cringe again, "But did you hear! Alexander is going to be there! Can you believe it..."

I stop listening and focus on getting all the runes in the right place. I chose a kick ass costume this year and I love it -despite Octavia's groans about how much of a nerd I'll look like- I got the idea from my favourite book series written by, the ultimate queen, Cassandra Clare.

This year I'm going as a Shadowhunter.

"Nove. Nove... __Nove!__ NOVEMBER HARRIET HIGHRIVER ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?"

Luckily this time I'm done applying the runes, so I'm not holding my sponge, which meant I had an extra hand to catch my phone with when I dropped it again.

"Yes, yes of course I am" I hastily reply, though quite absent minded.

"Liar. Anyway I'm here, you gonna' let me me in or what?"

I gave up lecturing her about talking on the phone whilst driving long ago.

"Why can't you just ring the doorbell like a normal person?"

"Because I'm lazy. And I don't want your mother answerin-" I cut her off with unrestrained laughter, " _ _Hey!__ Don't laugh at me!"

"Sor-sorry! But you th-thinking my mother's here," I try to reply through my giggles, "Honestly, you know she's never here"

At this point I've reached my front door and can see her through the window. My eyes widen at her costume. Hanging up the phone I say,

"God, you really went... all out"

She's wearing a vivid orange tulle skirt littered with gems with a striped orange basque, accompanied with daring fishnet gloves and tights and a pair of boots which looked like she'd stolen from a prostitute. Her hair seemed like it'd had an unfortunate encounter with an electric fence, framing her face like a lion's mane and her make-up was applied heavily (though she didn't need it, she was already stunning naturally) with striking black lip-stick and bold black whiskers. __Of course__ _._

"You're a cat" I state, trying to ward off the disdain from lacing through my voice.

"Ah good, you can tell" She smiled, huffing with relief and fussing over her skirt as she pushed past me into my house and up to where she knew my room was. I continue speaking as I follow her to my room.

"Of course I can! How could anyone __not!__ You look like Crookshanks threw up a hairball on you!"

"Crookshanks?"

We reach my room and Octavia pushes through the threshold separating my room from the hallway, after a brief look of disgust she bee-lines to the mirror.  
You might think that her look of disgust came from the dire state of disorganisation that my room was currently in, but no. Although piles of discarded clothes were scattered across the floor and bed, this she didn't disgust at. Although empty glasses collected in a more out-of-the-way corner of one of my bookshelves, this wasn't what caused her to recoil. Although used make-up wipes covered the table beside my mirror and make-up was spread about the room, Octavia's disapproval came from the endless piles of books that stacked every available space of the room. Books fills my shelves, my desk and my window sill. Books lay half open on the floor beside my bed and my bedside table. Books were stacked one atop the other against the wall. Books were everywhere.  
While Octavia has nothing against reading, she strongly disapproves of the amount of time I spend doing it, how involved and consumed I get in their worlds, how I talk about it like it's real. To her it was fiction, to me it was another life. For her, reality is enough. For me, reality isn't enough, it will never be enough.  
Now, she halts in her preening and fixing of this and that and turns around to look at me with an expression of bewilderment on her caked face. Her head cocks to one side like a confused kitten or puppy, making the look complete -though _wrong_ , very _wrong_. __Nothing__ can be right about a sexy kitten.

"Crookshanks. The cat." I prompt.

Her face looked still blank and she turned back to the mirror. I gave up. I had tried making her watch and read the Harry Potter series time after time, trying to alight that spark I felt, in her. To make her see, make her feel what I do, but to no avail. She just didn't understand, especially not in this moment.

"Doesn't matter." I drop the subject, saying instead, "You know you look like a basic white girl in that"

"You can't say that, you're white."

"Yeah and so are you"

"You still can't say that"

"Just did"

"Eugh" She sighed, exasperated but gave up, "Whatever, are you ready?"

"I think so, what do you think of my costume?"

I look in the full-length mirror myself now, nudging her out of the way.  
Black, leather-look high-waisters, plain black corset -not the lingerie type, despite Octavia's persuading- and tall, plat-formed boots (black of course) that make me look about 4 inches taller than I actually was. My make-up was my usual basic: black eye liner rimming my wash-out blue eyes – with wings this time -I'd gone all out- cherry red lipstick, eyebrows pencilled and mascara (of course) though I'd skipped the foundation because I was lazy and hadn't dared touch the stuff (utterly clueless). I approved of my look, especially loving the runes I 'd decked over my skin, fake tattoos ordered off of eBay. _I looked like an actual Shadowhunter!_  
I was so excited.

"You're fangirl is showing" was Octavia's reply. My smiled dropped and I hit her playfully in the arm.

"Shut up. At least I don't look like an advertisement for Durex"

Her face took an expression of amused shock.

"Bitch. I look fabulous and you know it"

"Yeah" I acquiesce, she did look hot, "But you'll have to be careful that boys' saliva doesn't stain your clothes"

We're both in fits laughing now, Octavia's eyes start to water.

"Stop! Stop! You're going to ruin my make-up!" she exclaims, dabbing precariously at her eyes.

"And we all know what a shame that would be"

She hits me this time and trots back to the mirror to fuss over her make-up again. Once she deems it fabulous, she turns back to me.

"Come on, we've got to go"

"How's my hair?" my wavy copper hair gives me trouble to no end, tonight it's pulled back into a long, curly high ponytail with loose strands hanging under my ears and forehead.

"Fabulous" is her reply. __I swear that's her new favourite word. God, she needs to read more__ _,_ "NOW, __COME__ _ _ON__ WOMAN! Let's __GO__ _"_

"Okay, okay. Just let me grab my bag" already packed on my bed waiting, I swing it over my shoulder.

"Do you really need all that? What is even in there?" she wrestles my bag from me and dumps the contents on my bed, "A book!? Really!? We're going to a __party__ not a __library__ _!_ "

"I can't not take a book!" I protest, getting defensive.

"You can and you will. You don't need all of this" she gestures to my bag's contents strewn across my bed. Book -Fangirl, by Rainbow Rowell- Ipod, Tablets, Phone, hand sanitiser and the rest, "What are you? A mother?"

"NO!" I snatch the book from her grasp. "I might need it"

"No you won't. You're not taking a bag"

"What about my phone?"

She takes my phone from the pile and stuffs it deep down her cleavage.

"There. Problem solved." she countered with an air of satisfaction.

"Problem NOT solved. How am I going to use it if it's in your boobs? What if someone calls me?"

She laughs.

"Yeah, __that's__ going to happen, now come on"

Slightly offended -but knowing it's the truth- I check over my room and begin to walk to the door, trying to assure myself I hadn't forgotten anything.

"OH! I almost forgot!" I grab the holster from the bed and attach it to my thigh before hastily shoving the blade through it.

" _ _What__ is _ _that?"__ Octavia cries, looking aghast at my thigh.

"That, my friend, is a seraph blade. Fake of course." a smile of pride and superiority takes over my face, quite pleased with my ensemble. Octavia clearly disagrees.

"Eugh, just get to the car"

Her head hung low in defeat, her hair falling over her face so that she resembled Cousin Itt from The Addams Family. She drags me out of my room and the front door, never looking back until my front door was at our backs. I turn and lock it quickly, the movement routine then stop and look down at my keys. I stare at them for a moment -debating the situation- then, adopting Octavia's method, stuff them down my bra.

"You can't tell, can you?" I ask her, looking down at my cleavage, angling my body to face her.

"No, now _please_ let's _GO_ _!"_

"Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming!"

I rush over to her car and drop myself into the passenger's seat, beside where Octavia now sat tapping her foot impatiently. Octavia was an extremely privileged 17 year old. She only passed her test last month and her parents had already gotten her a brand new car as a well-done gift. It was a roaring red Ford KA and I quite fancied it.

"You got the address?" I ask her as she starts the ignition.

"Erm... no"

I smile.

"Good, I have it" I knew she'd forget.

She rolls her eyes at my smile of superiority.

"Just tell me it"

"Ashthorn Manor, Shadoxhurst"

" _ _Oooh__ _,_ sounds _posh_ " she reels, tapping the address into the Sat-Nav, "This is going to be a night to remember!"

My stomach begins to churn and dance itself into an endless knot as she drives out of my street and onto the road ahead.


	2. Pressure

CHAPTER II

 _Pressure_

* * *

"We're lost" I sigh wearily, looking out to the blackness of the night shining in the light of the car. Tiny flies were darting across the beams like criminals escaping capture and a beautiful bright full Moon was hanging like a pendant in the sky, and where were we? Lost.

"We are not lost." Octavia, defensive as always, protests.

"Admit it, we're lost"

"Nope, we are exactly where we need to be" she's determined to be right isn't she? She might as well be a man.

"Oh? And where is that?"

All that can be seen is a long dark road edged by bushes bare in the coming winter. The only light was coming from the car. I did not like this, not one bit. Chapters like this NEVER end well. I'm half expecting a demon or death-eater to jump out at us from the night.

"On time" she mutters, a strange reply. She's so obviously as clueless as I.

"I said __where__ not __when__." Why do I always end up stating the obvious with her,

"What time __is__ it, anyway?" I turn my gaze to the door window, all I can see are empty trees and the small, flickering light of stars in the sky.

"It's 8:30"

"So what you're telling me is we've been driving for an HOUR AND A HALF?! WE LEFT AT SEVEN!"

"Yeah and this is why! Besides WE have not been driving. I have been driving, you've been sitting there griping at me."

Her reply seemed bitchy, but she looked pretty satisfied with herself.

"Okay, I'm sorry" my voice softens, taking an apologetic tone, "I'm just nervous"

"Why on earth are you nervous Nove? What is there to be nervous about?" her tone is edged with anger and exasperation.

"Well, driving happily down an unknown road in the dark, at night sure isn't __my__ favourite activity!" I answer, my voice laced thickly with sarcasm, "No... it's the party...you know... people. The thought of it just makes me..."

"Eugh, THIS again? Grow up, Nove! It's pathetic! You can't stay like this your whole life!"

At these times, Octavia really doesn't feel like my best friend any more. Aren't best friends meant to accept you for who you are and help you? Aren't best friends not meant to judge you and criticise your flaws? __I__ _ _wish she could understand. I wish I could explain.__ At these times I hate myself for questioning our friendship, but I wish she could see how much it hurts me when she reacts like this. How much it hurts me, kills me when I see that look in her eyes. The look that says __You're a freak__.

It kills me.

Silence has fallen flat across the car, the air thick with it, plagued with it. It stretches on for hours as I watch the world blur past me behind the window. The feeling it almost so tangible I could reach out and touch it. I longed to reach out and smash the silence that is building between walls us, if only I had the strength to say something.

Hours later, a blinding bright light illuminated the dark car and suddenly a mechanical drone broke the heavy silence that filled the car.

"You have reached your destination" The Sat-Nav tells us.

"What? I don't see anything" Octavia rings out, squinting her eyes into the distance. I mirror her actions.

"Wait, look there" I point at a sign in the distance.

"Oh yeah, what does it say?"

I squint harder.

"Shadowfax. We're here" I reply, less relieved than worried, "Now we need to find Ashthorn Manor"

"Shouldn't be too hard. Listen" an impish grin itched at her cheeks.

I listened through the silence for what she was talking about. Faintly, the bass line of some party music -dubstep probably- could be heard sounding from across the village. From that direction, lights flashed sporadically in the sky like artificial northern lights.

"Great. Towards a night of shitty music, drives November." I groan at the prospect of my evening out, while Octavia's grin only broadens.

"I told you. __I'm__ the one driving."

I roll my eyes at her once more.

* * *

The car's wheels crunch on the gravel as it makes its way up the driveway, making a horrible, grating sound which doesn't help my leaping stomach. Octavia parks the car before a large, regal looking abode a little out of the way of the village centre. The house towers above me, built with large French-style balcony windows stretching across the walls and rouge bricks; looks like it's teleported straight from an episode of Downtown Abbey. She twists the rear-view mirror towards her to check her make-up and hair again and I wonder how she can be so at ease, excited even, at the prospect of this party. My body is going haywire at the thought. The people, oh all the people; unknown people, daunting people who could do anything, be anything. People who laugh, who mock.

People who don't know me.

My heart is racing. The anxiety wraps its iron claws around my lungs, locking me in a death-grip so I can't breathe. I swallow the feeling, pushing it down, down to my stomach as my vision blurs. She can't see, she can't know, can't witness my inner melt down. I __can't__ see that look in her eyes again.

 _ _It's fine. It's fine. You're fine. They'll be people you know. Look you're not even inside yet, stop it, you're being silly. What's the worst that could happen? Look, Octavia's with you, it will be all fine. Just Breathe. Breathe.__

I steady myself and get out of the car, I start for a moment before remembering that my keys were in my bra and Octavia has my phone. I look for her at the other side of the car as she goes about making a show of getting out. I roll my eyes and stomp over to her around the car, the gravel crunching beneath my boots.

"Hate to disappoint but there's no one out here to see Octavia" I say to her, my fear lacing my voice with angst. Though I may seem angry, it does a good job of hiding my fear from her.

"Doesn't matter, for a true actress, the world's a stage" she puts on an air of melodrama but is soon overtaken with fits of excitement; and __she__ calls __me__ he fangirl, "I'm so excited! Aren't you excited!?"

She's practically bouncing with it.

"Yeah, of course I am," I lie, "Remind me, why did he have the party all the way out here again?"

"Oh, well this is Aiden's Dad's home and he let him use it for the party, since it's so big"

"His Dad must be loaded" My voice stretches as my neck strains upwards to gaze upon the impressive structure, lights flashed from inside the closed curtains and the bass line was quite clear now. __Yes, dubstep, great.__

"Na, it was passed down to him" Octavia said impatiently, "Now can we please go in already!? I'm freezing out here!"

She makes a show out of shivering to display the fact.

"That would be because you have more body parts exposed than you do covered up"

"Whatever, just come on" She stomps towards the massive, red front door and raises her hand to knock. My heart plummets again and I feel fear beginning to stab with its icy blade at my stomach, as the deep thrum of the knock on the wood beats right through me, jabbing at my core. The anxiety beats like a second heart in my chest and grips with iron claws around my lungs and I find myself struggling to breathe again.

 _ _Why did I agree to this?__

I strain to keep myself from hyperventilating but my breaths become shorter and quicker. My knuckles a death-pale, tightly holding one another in front of me. Tears well up in my eyes and I look up desperately to keep them at bay.

I see the Moon, silent, white and shining benevolently above me, like a silent watcher. The sight captures me and allows my breathes to deepen and my fears to dissolve ever so slightly, I manage even a small smile. Recollecting myself, I turn my gaze to Octavia , who is stood boldly in front of the door, looking impatiently at the knocker.

 _ _She is here. It will be fine. Relax.__

I repeat it like a mantra, drilling it into my brain again and again to keep the fear at bay, and it works. I'm okay.

Then it happens. The door swings open to reveal a tall, 19 year old boy with shoulder length dark hair and eyes that emeralds envy, leaning casually against the door frame.

"Hey, Octavia, glad you could make it. I'm Alexander"


	3. Last Impressions

CHAPTER III

 _Last Impressions_

* * *

"Alex," Octavia says as she walks past him and into the house, "Where's Aiden?"

I'm hesitant to follow her, I haven't exactly been invited in. I don't want to seem rude or presumptuous as to just walk in like Octavia did but at the same time it IS cold out here and I don't want to lose Octavia, though she already seems to have forgotten about me. The dark haired guy -Alexander- however, sees me even if I don't want him to and signals for me to follow inside. Thankful, I smile politely and avoid his gaze as I move to stand behind where Octavia now stood.

"He's...preoccupied at this moment in time," Alexander replies awkwardly, this is definitely a cover-up. Aiden's up to something. Aiden was Octavia's ex-boyfriend, whom she dated for around 4 months -which was a long time for Octavia- and at one point she seemed pretty serious about him. She even took his virginity, which to her was no big deal it seemed, but when she told me I acutely remember freaking out. I have about the sexual experience of a teaspoon.

"Who's your friend?" he continues, looking me up and down, definitely making me uncomfortable. I squirm under his gaze.

"Oh right," and she finally remembers, point Octavia, "Alex, this is November"

She gives me the eye that tells me to look up, drop my hands and stop acting weird. I make an effort.

"Erm...Hi" I say, my voice not quite as steady as I would like it to be but I do manage to meet his gaze and strain a smile. I liked the emerald tone of his eyes, I always wished I had green eyes.

"November...unusual name," he replied in an amused tone. _God, was my name really that funny?_ He reaches out his hand towards me. _Oh God. Oh no. Shaking hands? I didn't think people our age did that. I can't just ignore it, can I? No that would be rude._

I reach my hand out to meet his, I can see it quaking slightly and hope he hasn't noticed. Then his hand is in mine, his grasp firm as he shakes it politely before dropping it back to my side.

"Interesting costume, what are you?" he asks.

"A Shadowhunter" I reply, he just stares at me, "It's a-"

"Oh, I know, don't worry. I just didn't think I'd meet anybody dressed as one tonight"

 _Well this night just took an interesting turn, this is the first time I haven't had to explain what a Shadowhunter is._

"All my friends mock me for my interest in the books" Alexander says shyly, embarrassed at admitting his interest, though he shouldn't be, I understand the feeling. _Could this be what I think it is? Is it possible that he is the enigmatic and ever-illusive, fanboy?_ Alexander looks down and shuffles his feet awkwardly, his arm stretching around to rub his neck. _Is he nervous? No, impossible._

"I understand" I chime in, wanting him to know I sympathise with him and there's no need to be embarrassed about it, especially not with me. He neck snapped hesitantly up so that his eyes met mine, and in them I see relief and unexpected joy. A smile plays at the edge of his lips and he laughs, which takes me completely by surprise. His laugh is charming, almost a giggle and throws me off guard. Aren't guys meant to have, I don't know, deeper, manlier laughs?

"Wow, your the first person I've met who hasn't laughed at me for that?

"Why would I laugh?" I reply, confused. His features suddenly set, and then he's staring at me with the utmost severity.

"Because it's a _girl_ series, it's _wrong_ for me to like it" I can see the hurt in his eyes, a pain I knew too well. Whoever did this. Whoever made him believe that should be ashamed of themselves. No one should feel that they have to hide who they are, what they like. No one should have the power to make Alexander feel ashamed for what he likes. I feel anger begin to simmer at the pit of my stomach and my eyes begin to glint dangerously. This is not good, when I get angry, I get confident.

"It is _not_ and whoever told you that is _wrong._ " I work hard to keep the anger from edging my voice, but however I had said it seemed to amuse Alexander. I watched his eyes as the hurt swept away, and they now danced playfully with delight at my anger.

It is only then that I realised the situation that I was in. I was talking to a _boy_ , an _unknown_ boy and I hadn't embarrassed myself completely yet. But I had to be careful, I was bordering on dangerous territory that I hadn't crossed before and if I didn't compose myself I would mess things up for sure. But, _what now?_

"Well, _November,"_ What _does_ he find so funny about my name? "Would you like me to show you around?" He asks hopefully.

"Actually I..." I turn my head back, looking find Octavia's bored face. My stomach plunges instantly to the floor and my heart followed, any form of confidence I had collected smashing to irrecoverable shards as it fell to the floor with them. Anxiety rushed back to by in a raging torrent as I looked, and saw that she was gone.


	4. Lost and Found

CHAPTER IV

 _Lost and Found_

* * *

My head twists and turns in every direction, searching for a familiar golden explosion of hair and soon my head is swimming in the water that is glazing my eyes, distorting my vision. Once panic sets I know that they'll be do turning back, no way out, so I continue my search pointlessly. In reality, I know she's gone. My thoughts race to keep apace with my beating heart, trying to formulate a plan, a direction, a way to escape the anxiety that's flooding my soul. Anything that will save me from my current situation. Then, like noise through water, a voice pulls me out of my agony.

"Hey, hey... _hey..._ You _okay?"_

It's Alexander. Of all people, it is he who pulled me from the deep vortex of my swarming thoughts. _The main contributor to my stress himself, how ironic._ Though, I'll allow, it's not only him. It just then dawns on me that he has asked me a question. A question requires a reply, generally. As this realisation seeps through my storm of thoughts I try to snap my brain to attention, and perhaps articulate a reasonable reply. I inevitably fail as I stammer,

"Er-er...eerm. Yeah! Yea...of-of course I a-am"

Yep, failed. My attempt at sounding nonchalant and jovial only amplified my weak stuttering and caused the expression of concern that had set in Alexander's face to deepen. Which caused my worry to begin to spin again. Though, strangely, he doesn't press me for an answer. The curiosity of his reaction intrigued me enough to bring me away from my anxiety a bit, distracting me. No one reacts like this. They ask, they press, they badger me for answers. And when I can't give one, they begin to treat me as they would a lost child, triggering anger to rumble like thunder within my stomach, raging a violent storm with the torrent of anxiety pouring through my veins.

In this moment, I had expected Alexander to suggest something along the lines of _"Why don't we find your friends?"_ or _"Let's call Octavia, how about that?"_. The latter ending in an awkward conversation involving an stammered and unrecognisable explanation, on my part, of where my phone is currently and why we can't use it.

But Alexander does none of this. Instead, he casually says,

"So, know anybody else here tonight?"

Normal. He's treating like I'm...normal. Like every body else. I can't remember a time where, in this situation, I haven't looked up to see a thousand eyes staring at me, all saying telling me one thing. _You're a freak. You're not right. Some thing's wrong with you._ Which only ever ended with my footsteps, running for the door.

But now, my feet are planted firmly on the laminate flooring beneath me. And my stomach is experiencing the oddest feeling, it's...settling. My thoughts are returning to my control. _Could this simple act of treating me like every body else, while my mind is a ripping tornado of thoughts and flood of erratic emotions, spiralling order away from my grasp, be calming me down?_ My gaze settles on his eyes, emerald like a quiet sea, and the world stops spinning.

"Yes" the sound of my voice, breaking through my thoughts, surprises me. It is steady and calm, without stutter or drawl, "A couple, actually"

"Well" he doesn't hesitate to reply, a gleeful smile on his face as he puts on a mock air of decorum and triviality, "Allow me to offer myself as your humble escort, my lady"

He finishes the act with an expertly performed bow, complete with a flourish of the wrist which ends in the offering of his arm. The performance provokes an unexpected laugh to sound from my throat, which only encourages his display, as his smile broadens and soon he is laughing with me.

"I thank you, kind Sir" I begin to reply, putting on my most cordial manner of speaking and 'lady-like' posture (those years of ballet training weren't for nothing, after all), "If you would be so good as to escort me to my friends" I finish with a small and precise curtsy, which wouldn't have looked quite so strange had I been wearing a skirt, then finally look back up to his eyes, now dancing with amusement.

"Shall we begin?" he turns his body to face the doorway, which is set a little farther back in the wall behind him, while keeping his head towards me. I move to follow, though electing to pass on his arm. Though potentially amusing and probable fun I do have _some_ dignity intact, and we would have looked quite a strange pair. Worse, somebody could've mistaken us for a couple; an impossibility and serious maim to his image.

He looks on an leads me through the open door and into the party beyond, I am remember exactly where I am once more.

In the room there is music playing -dubstep, louder and clearer now than ever- and someone installed colour changing lighting which is causing the light to appear like it's flashing from outdoors.

Red. Blue. Green. Pink. Yellow. Orange. Purple.

It darkens the room enough for my presence to become significantly less noticeable, particularly owing to my fashion choice of black, my also makes navigation problematic and suddenly my gratitude for Alexander's aid increases. It is a long, rectangular room, the colour of the walls indiscernible in the current lighting but the wealth is obvious even without. There is modern artwork decking long, right hand wall and a thick, plush, cream carpet beneath my feet. On the back wall, farthest from me and seemingly where Alexander is leading me, there is a door, standing ajar, hugging the left corner. On the same wall on the opposing side is a magnificent flat screen television -presumably HD- opposite which is a stretched, L-shaped fluffy sofa that makes me ache for some DVDs, popcorn and my Pjs for a Harry Potter marathon. There is also a glass coffee table, currently housing empty cups, at in front of said sofa and a sparsely stacked bookcase beside the TV; causing a small itch of annoyance to spike through me.

But these things I noticed later, as I was trying to weave my way through the room on my feet without losing sight of Alexander -who, to his credit, kept checking over his shoulder for me- the first and blindingly, unavoidably obvious thing I saw upon entering the room, was people.

Many, many people. Girls, guys, all around my age expecting a creeper in the back, staring sickeningly at the girl with pink and blue highlights in her hair that I assume brought him. But _people._

Standing, talking, laughing, _(what they call)_ dancing, drinking, breathing.

 _People._

My heart took flight with the wings of a frightful bird in my chest again and my eyes began to flit about the room. But no, this time I was prepared and it wasn't enough to distract me this time. I dealt with this level of panic regularly at school, I was an expert. So I focused on the back of Alexander's head as he began to move through the crowd. The people, inexplicably, moved out of the way for him. A few nodding, smiling, saying 'Hey'. _He makes it look easy._

This barely set off my radar though, as I was focused on weaving a path through after the people who had just moved out of Alexander's way, moved back again, blocking my path.

Keeping my head low, eyes cast down apart from when they were fixed on Alexander's hair, I moved through the room. And, miraculously, I didn't trip or make a fool out of myself some other way. The door was a metre away now and the people had cleared, meaning that Alexander now stood slightly ahead of me waiting to fall into step.

"You good?" he asked, nonchalant but I could still sense some concern in his tone.

 _Was I that obvious?_

"Yeah, I'm fine" I answer honestly, and we continue walking through the door to the next room, which was, it turned out, a staircase _(an entire room for a staircase, this place_ was _fancy)_. Which we began climbing, one always keeping pace with the another. This time, it's me who initiates the conversation.

"So, what did you come as?" I realised that I had forgotten to ask for his costume, caught up in all my inner commotion. Now, looking him up and down trying to figure it out, I became increasingly curious. He was wearing plain, scruffy deep denim jeans with a grey fitted shirt and black converse.

"Oh" he started in surprise, "I'm Harry Potter" as he said this he scooped back his dark fringe that was hanging over his forehead -in the classic _Potter_ style- to reveal a lightning bolt scar drawn just off-centre on his forehead on in red ink.

"Wow" I chuckle, "You look more like book Harry than Daniel Radcliffe does!" I'm not even joking, he really does look like Harry in the books.

 _Unruly black hair, green eyes, scruffy clothes, he fits the bill perfectly, minus the glasses._

"I know!" his eyes light up with delight at my comment, "It was written in the stars, pre-destined by the Gods" I can't hold back my laughter at this dramatic display.

"Tell that to the directors"

"I will" he affirms, his demeanour serious until he turns his head and looks at me, meeting my eyes and smiling innocently.

Silence walks beside us for the next steps and this time I find that I'm not stressing over whether I need to keep the conversation going; the atmosphere in the air between us is calm and easy, almost happy and I find myself smiling at this realisation. _I had never been so comfortable with such a perfect stranger._

"What are your friends' names?" Alexander inquires as we reach the third landing of the turning staircase.

"Darcy, Katelyn and Caleb"

"Aiden actually introduced me to them earlier" he begins, ambling towards a door to the left of the landing, "They were in here"

He opens the door with his left hand, his back to it so he's facing me, and gestures for me to walk in.

I take my time, looking about myself as I walk into the new room. It is noticeably smaller, square like, and there are no colour-changing lights in here, just a basic white light, shining from the ceiling. The walls are a dull white , accented with grey and green furniture; a grey love-seat pushed against the wall, decked with green pillows and a white, wooden coffee table sat in front of it. In the opposite corner sat a white table with grey chairs seated around it, a vase of yellow flowers centring the table. Again, some modern art piece was on the right hand wall and a built in display case was set in the wall behind the open door with some photo frames and knick-knacks placed happily upon it. I let out a sigh as I took in my surroundings, appreciating the change of setting. There were substantially less people in this room, it was mostly full of people that I know, acquaintances of mine, friends of friends that sometimes hung out with us, but my attention was immediately caught by three people that gathered by the sofa. I was greeted with smiles and exclamations as I walked over, Alexander closing the door behind us and following.

"Novie!" Katelyn exclaims, pulling me into a hug, "You made it! You look amazing!" she smiles excitedly, eyes widening in amazement at my costume and I finally felt happy with myself, even glad that I had come. I returned her embrace before looking to my other friends, Darcy and Caleb.

Caleb's arm had returned where it was lounged around Katelyn's shoulders and Darcy stood on Katelyn's other side, looking glad that I had arrived to relieve her from her post of third-wheel.

The five of us -including Octavia- all went to the same school so hung out together regularly and knew each other well. This year, Katelyn and I were in the same Psychology class so we had become closer, before it was too hard to get her away from Caleb for long enough to become really close. She and Caleb had been together since year 11 and were -admittedly- a very cute couple. Tonight, they had come together as Red Riding Hood and the Huntsman _(I wasn't going to be the one to point out that Red Riding Hood was a little girl, and had no romantic involvement with the Huntsman)_. A cute couple though they were, this didn't make being along with just the two of them less awkward and slightly nauseating for the third. Usually -there being five of us- there is little danger of this happening, but tonight Octavia was absent.

 _Octavia had flitted off who knows where, drinking who knows what with, well, who knows._

As ifreading my thoughts, Darcy asked,

"Where's Octavia? You came with her, right?"

"Yeah I did" I answer, "But I lost her after I came in"

"She _left_ you!?" Caleb cried in outrage. Darcy, Katelyn and Caleb all knew of my little...issue, so hearing that Octavia had left me alone at the party naturally sparked the anger.

"Er...yeah, I guess" I avert my eyes as I answer, feeling like I'd just told on Octavia to a teacher.

"I'm going to _kill_ her!" shouted Katelyn

"You'll have to find her first" Darcy muttered, and my thoughts tracked back to the tall boy who was now lingering behind me, "Are you okay though, November?"

Before I could think to reply, a familiar voice rung out from behind.

"Don't worry, I saw to it she found her way to you" Alexander said proudly.

I didn't think I would ever forget the astounded looks that spread across my friends' faces. Their mouths hung slightly open, their eyes wide and all of them were too dumbstruck to speak for a moment, a truly rare sight. I had to hold myself back from laughing, though I couldn't keep the delight from my eyes.

"Guys" I said, "Erm...this is Alexander"

At my words my friends all seemed to snap back to reality, very aware that _I_ was introducing them to someone. And a _boy_ at that. They all seemed suddenly wary and suspicious, taking a protective stance about me. Whether I knew Alexander was no threat or not, this warmed my heart a bit. My friends protecting me, ready to defend me from the people I generally see as threats. The people that generally pick me out as an easy target. _Boys._

But this time was different.

"Alexander, huh" Caleb scowled at him, "The guy who's mates with Aiden, I've heard about you" he moves closer toward him, arm dropping from Katelyn's shoulder and crossing in front of him in a dominant pose. Ready for the interrogation. Worry set into my bones, Alexander had helped me, even comforted me when Octavia had left me alone in a unknown place, where she _knew_ I was scared and helpless. My friends needed to know that. Darcy shuffled so that she was standing closer to me.

Darcy was probably my closest friend. While Octavia still filled the role of Best Friend -she wasn't always like this- she failed to see what I saw and understand me in ways that Darcy did. She didn't even try. So I had stopped trying. Trying to explain to her my feelings of regret, of anxiety, of fear and worry. Trying to make her accept me the way I am. It was never going to happen. Darcy, on the other hand, was different. We had met in year 10 when she had moved into the College adjoining the High School that Octavia and I had moved from. That year we had had English together, which Octavia was in too, so we hadn't grown as close as we are now for another year yet. But in year 11, as Octavia began to change and prefer to mingle with outsiders than stay by my side, Darcy and I had connected.

It turned out that we were a lot alike. We both adored reading and loved the same books. Harry Potter, The Mortal Instruments and more. So we now exchange books on a regular basis. In fact, the book I was currently reading I got at her recommendation. We both liked to write as well, so helped eachother out when we were stuck, even co-authoring a _Once Upon a Time_ -which we were both obsessed with- fanfiction. We also both shared a general dislike of people and were frequently uncomfortable in social situations so sought comfort in one another as our friends branched out.

So it was no surprise when Darcy, while Caleb and Katelyn assumed defence, edged closer to me. Tonight she was dressed up -at my suggestion- in a Pirate costume, with a billowing white shirt, stomach corset, boots, hat and all. She was even wearing eyeliner -an unusual and rare sight for Darcy. She was Captain Hook or Killian Jones from _Once Upon a Time_. And she was killing it. Now, she looked up at me uncertainly, as if asking "Could this be real? What happened?"

It was time to explain.

"Guys, don't worry about Alexander's. He's alright, in fact..." and I launched into the whole story; how Octavia vanished, leaving me alone with Alexander, anxious and not knowing where to go, and how Alexander had -in a sense- come to the rescue, without sounding like a weak damsel in distress in need of saving, snapped me out of my inner meltdown (though this I skirted around, brushing over the subject and not really going into just how much of a mess I was) and lead my through the crowds and unknown hallways, to here. To my friends, my salvation.

As I had finished narrating the tale, I sighed heavily with relief. A weight off my chest. The look on my friends' faces were dumbstruck again. In awe of the story and how _I_ of all people had become sort-of friends with a perfect stranger. A perfect stranger who was _male._ Alexander was beaming stupidly at the story and I was quickly embarrassed at how I had just effectively sung his praises, massaged his ego a bit -though he didn't seem like that kind of guy- he actually seemed... proud?

 _Why would he be proud? Why is he so happy? Why did I just make myself seem so weak?_

Darcy was looking at me with a face that said "Is this all true? Did this really happen?" and I smile in reply, affirming the validity of the story.

And then they were all warmth and embrace, showing Alexander with appraisal and gratitude. Alexander was quite taken aback at their sudden change in demeanour but took it in his stride and was soon in an animated discussion with Katelyn and Caleb on how Red Riding Hood and the Huntsman were not a couple and asking if they had come as their _OTP_ or favourite _ship._

 _Ship. OTP. Where had this guy come from._

I couldn't help smiling at the sight stupidly of my friends, now including Alexander, grouped together in an absurd debate on the legitimacy of Red Riding Hood and Huntsman's relationship. Laughing as they exchanged witty remarks. Alexander seemed to just click with her group, even Darcy now entered into the conversation and soon they were all smile and laughter. I looked across my friends and smiled, feeling comforted, accepted and warm inside. At home.

 _Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all?_


	5. Broken

CHAPTER V

 _Broken_

* * *

Outside, the sky was a beautiful midnight blue and dotted with a million stars. Living around the city you don't often see so many in one place, which -although unfortunate- made the sight all the more mesmerising when you did. I was in awe of the sight. The beautiful flicker of the dying stars in the distant held me in their sublimity. The moon had sailed onwards, marking the change in hour, and was still shining dazzlingly, harshly down on me. So bright it made it hard to look at. Beautiful and painful. I couldn't tear my eyes from the sight. The evening had waned around me as I spent my time chatting happily with my friends, Alexander in particular. But a little while ago, as I was discussing our next chapter with Darcy, he had disappeared. I remembered the moment specifically as I had just briefly interrupted my discussion with Darcy to say that I was tired. I had asked Katelyn and Caleb if they knew where he had gone but -after giving me a pointed look and teasing me for 'liking him' (which I denied)- they had told me that they hadn't seen him go and he hadn't said where. This, in other words, meant they had been too _busy_ with eachother and probably driven Alexander away by making him feel too much of a third-wheel. The thought had crossed my mind to go after him but I dared not venture out in to the party by myself and I didn't want to leave Darcy alone with the awkward couple again, I don't think she could've bared it. So, I now sat on the only sofa in the room next to Darcy with one of the green pillows clutched lightly in my lap, not really paying attention but staring, captured, out of the window.

"Fine" Darcy huffed, sounding oddly reluctant.

"Wait, what?" I reply frowning, not an idea of what she was talking about, "I was listening!"

"No, you weren't, November" she said, "Now, come on"

She stood from the sofa, adjusted her crumbled costume, put back on her hat which had been sitting abandoned on the coffee table, and looked down at me. I stupidly reply,

"What? Where are we going?" dumbfounded at her intent, "I'm confused"

"Well, isn't that the news of the century?" she said sarcastically before grabbing the pillow from my lap, throwing it onto the sofa and attempting to haul me from my seat, "We're going to find Alex"

"What?! Why?" my heart stopped and started again at a mixture of the idea of venturing from where I'd nestled and out into the party and at the thought of seeing Alexander.

 _Wait, what? NO. I did NOT like Alexander. This needed to stop, now._

"Yes we are. You haven't been listening to anything I've said since he left. You've been completely out of it and it's because of him. Admit it."

"I will admit nothing"

"Fine. But it won't stop it from being the truth. Now, _come on."_

She seemed more determined than she did annoyed.

"I'll pay attention, I promise" I say, remaining sat down in a bid to make her concede.

"No, for the past __half an hour__ the Moon has had more of a conversation with you than I have! We're going."

"But..." I protest.

"Nope. No buts. Not this time."

"Come on Darcy! You of all people should understand"

"Yes, and it's _because_ I understand that I'm the only one who can make you do this. You're finding him and you're talking to him. More, you're getting this number."

"WHAT?" n _o, no, no, no, no, NOT happening. Is she serious?_ This wasn't happening, "Why? Why is this so important to you?"

"Because I've watched for years you shy away from any of the male species and tonight, the way you acted with Alex, that's the first time I've ever seen you so _relaxed_ and _happy_ with a guy. Much more, he's a _fanboy!_ Come on Nove, y _ou don't meet a guy like that every dynasty!_ "

 _So, now she's resorted to quoting Mulan at me?_ She really is serious.

"Come on Darcy, please don't make me do this!" I plea.

"No, you're doing this. Stop worrying for once Nove. Don't worry, I'll be with you" she smiled encouragingly at me, yet I thought I could see some sadness in her eyes. _She must be tired._ __But she sure wasn't relenting. _I guess I had no choice._

"Okay, _fine"_ I say, rising somewhat reluctantly from my seat, "Let's go"

"Awesome!"

"I hope you know you're way around because I sure don't" I warned, expressing my annoyance at being forced to do this, but she ignores me. Instead, she sang,

" _November and Alex, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-_ "

"STOP. STOP RIGHT NOW"

Her singing reduced into fits of laughter, and soon I couldn't help from laughing with her as we made out way to the door.

* * *

"This is pointless" I announce in frustration. We had been from room to room, from door to door, even briefly looking out into the garden, but we hadn't seen Alexander anywhere. I guess you could say that we should've asked someone. But I was already miles, light years away from my comfort zone. I wasn't asking anything from any stranger, "We're never going to find him! Let's just go back to the others, they're probably wondering where we are by now"

"Puh-leease. You know perfectly well that Caleb and Katelyn haven't the faintest idea that we're even gone" she laughed off my request, "No. We're finding that boy"

"Euugh. Maybe he's gone home?"

"Come on, Nove! Even you aren't as naïve as to think that! He's a _teenage boy_. At a _party._ On _Halloween_. With _drunk girls_. He's here. No self-respecting nineteen year old male leaves a Halloween party before three AM." she literally spelt it out for me but I already knew. I wasn't stupid. I was just creating excuses. Though I didn't like the drunk girls part, I didn't think Alexander was the kind of guy who took advantage of drunk girls and was hoping I was right.

We had decided to look in the kitchen so weaved our way through progressively drunker crowds of partiers to find the door to it. I was extremely tired by this point and wanted to go back to safety, where Katelyn and Caleb were currently probably making-out, not only because every second we spent looking for Alexander my heart beated a little faster and anxiety built up in me like a ticking time bomb. After looking into door after door, disturbing more drunken interludes that involved nudity that I'd care to remember, we eventually found the kitchen.

Inside, there weren't as many people as I would've thought there'd be, you could navigate vaguely easily, but there was still too many. The kitchen was huge, much bigger than any I'd ever seen before, and looked like it had come straight out of a catalogue of dream homes for celebrities. The colour scheme was black, dark oak wood and a lovely burnt-orange colour. A colour that, at first, prevented me from picking out Octavia in the crowd.

I saw it from across the room.

Alexander was stood in front of Octavia, facing her so that I could only see his back, his arms crossed in front of him with his muscles tense, and Octavia was clung to him like a Koala bear, kissing him loudly like they were the end scene of one of the soppy romances she loved so much. Time stopped and I saw it in slow motion. Him, just stood there. Her, clung to him. Sucking on him like a hungry newborn vampire. I didn't think the image would ever fade from my mind. I knew that Octavia knew Alexander, being Aiden's ex-girlfriend she knew many of his friends, but that's where their relationship ended as far as I knew. Octavia had never revealed any real inclination for him, despite admitting he was hot, and had never told of any intentions towards him; quite contradictory to what was before her now. Alexander I was sure had no designs on Octavia, in fact he seemed quite uninterested where she was concerned. Had it all been a lie? Had he just been using me to get information on Octavia, to get close to her? Worse, to make her jealous?

I didn't know what to think.

Darcy hadn't seen yet, so she missed the anguished expression that had surely transformed my face. _Why was I so upset? I didn't even like him. I had only just met him._ But, glanced at me just in time to see a burning blush flood over my face before looking to see what I did.

" _Shit"_ was all she could say.

 _Well, that just about sums up this whole situation._

I was just about to turn, walk back out of the kitchen and never look back, feeling like a fool. _A deluded, stupid little fool._ When Octavia was pushed from her embrace and I heard my name shouted from across the room.

" _November!_ Look who it is everyone! It's my _best friend!"_

 _Great, just what I need._

Octavia's words scream and slur with drunkenness and she stumbles her way clumsily over. Before this I had been almost ignorant of the people surrounding us but now, as their eyes all turned to glare at me, I was all too aware.

 _No, Oh God, no. This wasn't the time for a mental breakdown._

I was the centre of attention. All eyes and ears were fixed on me as Octavia came up to and dropped her arm around my shoulders.

" _November_ " she started, "My _best friend_! _Where_ have you been?"

"I've... er..." I began but was cut off.

"No, no I know. You've been _hiding." No, no, no, no, no, no. What is she doing. This wasn't happening, "_ Always _hiding._ You know there's a whole _world_ out here when you're done hiding, afraid behind those _books_ you love sooo much!" she spat the word book with such disdain. I'm desperately trying not to cry, "When are you going to start _living_ November! You know you can't live in fiction forever! You _need_ to live in the real world. Look at yourself! Look everyone, she even _came_ as a character from a book!" please God let this end. Or just kill me, because I'm surely already dying in this moment, " _Look,_ everyone sees it November. You need to get your _scared_ little head out of your _books_ and start living. See? People aren't _scary_ November! Stop being so _pathetic_ and _grow up_ "

It was over.

Octavia looked at me expectantly, like she had just given me the cure for cancer. Like I owed her something. Like she had just solved a tricky problem.

It was over.

She didn't see what I saw. Through her veil of intoxication and ignorance she failed to see what surrounded me now. What she had created. What she had forced upon me. Octavia had caught her like a blind bird, in a cage she was now unable to escape. What had been the bond of friendship tying us together was now a chain, binding me to her, locking me in. A chain that had just been broken.

 _Broken._

Alone, afraid and vulnerable. Trapped like an exotic bird in a cage, millions of faces were spying, watching me. She didn't see what I saw. A room full of faces and among them Alexander with a distressed expression. A room full of unknown faces. Girls, Boys, Women, Men, it didn't matter. She didn't see what I saw. She didn't see at all. It was room full of unknown people, unknown faces, all different to me and yet they all looked the same.

 _You're a freak._

It was the look. The face.

 _You're a freak._

And if I wasn't already dead, this killed me.

I couldn't take it any more. Tears filled my eyes, my heart was beating erratically. Anxiety and fear filled my body to the brim, my body was quaking with it. Fear fed of my body like a predator feeds off of weak prey, sapping away my energy, my will to breathe. My limbs felt like they were about to snap under me, to break, and I was going to fall with them. Utterly. Entirely. Undeniably broken. I turned on my heel and ran from the room, never looking back.


	6. Shadows

CHAPTER VI

 _Shadows_

* * *

I ran recklessly and carelessly and kept running until the party was but a distant memory and heavy drone of the music that beat through it could no longer reach my ears. Uncaring of who I pushed through to get there and how rude I seemed; I didn't stop until I was far down the street where there was nothing to remind me of where I was and what had happened. The scene played over and over through my mind like a song on repeat, cutting me in a thousand different ways anew each time. Surely nothing could hurt more than this. I had been hurt many times before in my life, but I never imagined that, in the end, it would be Octavia who caused me to finally shatter into irretrievable pieces, irreversibly broken. Octavia had been there for me through everything. When I lost my Grandfather, when my Mum and Dad divorced and my Dad moved a whole country away. Each time my Mum was giving me grief, when the world became too much and, finally, when I lost everything I had ever owned, including myself. She made me smile even in those darkest of times, made me laugh when I thought I would never again feel happiness and made me feel like everything would be okay. For that, I had always imagined her to be a bright light, brighter even than the Sun, shining over me, illuminating my path even when everything seemed bleak and that I was the darkness, the shadow of her light. And I was okay with that. Everything I wasn't, I needed, she possessed and gave freely to me and vice versa. I gave her calm, introspect and advice in her otherwise wild and exciting existence, grounding her. I had always thought she needed me, even if it wasn't as much as I needed her. I thought we needed each other. We were opposites, two polar forces working fluidly in unison each making up for what the other didn't have. She let me live that happiness that she thrived on when I was with her, thanks to her I could always be happy even in the darkest, most terrible of times. I was the night, quiet and calm and she was the dawn, bright and promising. She was the light, I was the shadow. One couldn't exist without the other.

It was April of last year when I first felt something begin to sour between us. When her light transformed into the cutting gleam of a knife, slicing ribbons over my skin. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always like that. Weeks, months could pass in harmony and I would begin to figure that it was all just me. That I was over thinking again and we were fine just the we always were. Then something would happen again. It could be a passing comment, a judgement, a look and suddenly two gears which were previously turning in harmony were grating together in discord.

 _I've been living in denial, there was no going back now._

Everything has changed.

 _How could she do that to me?_

The night was calming me, enveloping me in her dark blanket of solitude where even my emotions couldn't reach. There was something sublime, something divine about the cool, quiet night that made it untouchable to the physical being, unchangeable to humankind. The only light illuminating the street was from the dim, orange streetlight and the radiance of the Moon and stars above; the dark of the night was shrouding me from view, concealing me from all by her sight. I was evermore grateful of the black costume I had chosen, for it blended with the night's darkness so that myself and the night could not be separated by the human eye. For the time being, the night and I were one and she was protecting her own. It was cold out, I could see my breath, expanding in clouds of fog before me and dissipating into the atmosphere, but I didn't care. I was grateful for the night. A calm breeze tickled my cheeks, making the wet streaks of tears feel like ice against my skin and lifted the stray strands of my hair lift from my face and stretch out to the skies. It made the trees dance and sway peacefully like no one was watching them. The quiet swish of the swaying trees and infrequent coo of owls was indulging my solitude as I raised my head to gaze once more at the stars and Moon above.

 _How strange it is that the sky remains the same, constant above me as ever it was from the window, and yet everything has changed._

I was deep inside my thoughts, in a world entirely in my mind, where nothing can hurt me but myself. Reality blurred from existence; I was miles from Earth, from the party, from pain and betrayal. My eyes no longer saw the trees or the sky. I was invisible, untouchable...

I didn't hear it the first time, the sound not quite reaching me where I was, but slowly the sound broke through to me, fading into my mind and suddenly I awoke to reality once again.

"Hey, you! Stand ready!" a shout rang through the darkness in the distance.

I had no idea what was going on. I had only just woken from my daydreaming so my mind was a little foggy, still somewhere else and not quite _there._ Who was this and what on earth were they talking about? Was it a drunken wanderer escaped from the party? They certainly didn't _sound_ drunk, in fact they sound fully sober and alert. I squinted in the direction from which the sound came in an attempt to make out the source of the shout. But for the lack of light I couldn't see anything, nothing but shadows. I was still staring down into the dimly lit road when whoever had shouted moved into the beam of the streetlight.

Though the figure was still partially silhouetted in the night I could just make out the shape of a young girl about my age running like an in pursuit of what looked like an overgrown dog. A flood of blonde hair exploded from her head as she ran, faster than I'd ever seen and her was face set sternly with intent.

 _Was she a stray dog catcher? Someone from the RSPCA?_

The two swiftly moving figures continued running, each second getting closer to where stood while I was still frozen in place trying to process the scene before me.

"Don't just _stand_ there!" the girl yelled, never taking her eyes from the dog. I didn't know what she was expecting, what she wanted from me. What could I do?

"How?" I shouted back, confused.

"What do you _think!?_ " she shrieked at me, her voice rising in anger and irritation. Was I doing something wrong? Was I missing something? I still just stood there, unable to do what she expected, " _By the Angel!_ Stop being such a _mundane!_ Take out your blade and help me get rid of this _demon!_ They don't call it _patrol_ for nothing!"

I was stunned by her words. _Angel, mundane, blade._ These were words I recognised. I knew them like the back of my hand, and who they belonged to. These words came from the mind of Cassandra Clare. These words were from books. They were _fictional._

 _Did someone spike my drink? No, I know, my fear and pain actually killed me this time and this is my version of heaven, a world of fiction._

I rubbed my eyes and felt my skin. Tangible, real.

 _Perhaps I'm hallucinating. I've finally gone mad, that's it._

Whilst my mind contemplated this, the girl had impossibly gained on the creature, now almost upon me, and flew at it. Jumping farther with more grace than I had ever seen, even on stage, even at the _Olympics_. It was ethereal, impossible.

For the second time this evening; time seemed to slow, expand.

Now crouched on top of the writing creature, she stretched her right arm to grab something from from behind her back. She drew back her hand, revealing a long blade now clutched tightly in her palm. It was beautiful. Long, silver and slender. She raised it above her with the grace of an avenging Angel about to enact divine justice. Beautiful and deadly.

Light pierced my eyes and the sword blazed brilliantly with white star shine, catching a beam of Moonlight raised high above the girl's head, giving her long blonde hair the incandescence of seraphs. Thanks to the Moonlight, visibly engraved upon the smooth side of the long, sliver blade there were letters, reading,

" _I am Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal."_

And suddenly it all became real, this was actually happening. A small voice sounded from the back of my mind.

" _But haven't you always believed, even wished that all the stories were true?"_

The voice wasn't lying, a small part of me had always believed that everything I had read, every story had had some truth to it. Written but to warn humans of these dangerous creature's existence without telling them, without alarming and scaring them. But as I grew up it became harder to believe, harder to think of these stories as real. If I were to believe, I would appear crazy and childish. In the end logic won out. I had mourned the loss of my fictional worlds for a long time and I never truly belonged to the real world. Always caught up in another world, always clinging desperately to this book and that. It was always _real_ to me. A small part of me remained believing, unable to let go.

Now, with what was in front of me, standing real, solid and true, it could no longer be denied. It was _true._ The stories were _true._ The voice chimed again, echoing through my mind and resonating through my thoughts. Finally, it opened my eyes.

A terrible screech ripped though the calm night air, howling forth from the mouth of creature as the girl gorged through its centre. As I watched, astounded, from the sidelines, the dog's form began to shift and jerk before my eyes, transforming. And, at last, I _saw._

 _This creature wasn't a dog. This was a demon._

My eyes widened and I stumbled backwards into the pavement, the gravel cutting at my palms. My breaths became laboured, heavy with fear as it now pulsed though me, seeping likt poison through me veins, waking me up. The demon, though now dying, wrestled free of the girl's weight in a last burst of energy, dragging itself wildly, clumsily towards me.

I did the only thing I could think to do. My hand fumbled, finding the fake seraph blade where it was slung lazily in its holster and drew the blade so it was the only thing remaining between myself and the demon. My last line of defence I sat there, in utter shock, staring at the creature as it crawled up to the blade, drawing level with it the tip just brushed its chest.

It was a ghastly, horrid thing, something distorted and corrupt fashioned from the worst of nightmares and horror stories. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight of its long, slimy slug-like body. Its skin was the colour of the most murky depths of the Themes, where long dead bodies lay sleeping under layers and years of putrid mud and hung to the creature's form in sickly layers of slime and gore. Two long, terrible lines of razor-sharp teeth stretched the line of its entire body, daring to crush me and engulf me into the dark vortex of its body, trapped, never to return. I felt that I was gazing into my future. It towered over me in piles oozing slime and saliva sliding over the gravel and black pungent ichor flowed freely from the seeping wound in its upper chest. The demon stared me down, as if daring me to move my arm just an inch closer. My heart was the only part of me moving, racing rapidly in my chest, willing me to live, to survive whilst my body was petrified on the spot with my right arm still stretched out, quivering in fear in front of me, holding my last defence. I was only able to watch as the creature descended upon me.

My fate was decided, I was about to be consumed by the demon. Then a silver gleam of light sliced suddenly and swiftly through the middle of the slimy form before me, cutting it in half and -as easily as if had been made of soot- the demon was reduced to dust, evaporating into the atmosphere. It was over in a matter of seconds, all the while I just sat there splattered in ichor, my knees out in front of me, one arm propped behind my body from where I had stumbled onto the ground and the other still holding onto the fake blade, unable to let go. The girl was now before me, crouched down with on hand on the floor and the other still in the air, sword in hand, her hair splayed around her bent head like a halo. Then, all of a sudden, jolted forward. Her voice called out to me as if through water.

"What do you think you were doing!? Were you just going to stand there, sit there even as the demon escaped?" she was angry, blazing over me like some vengeful deity, "You're a shame to the Shadowhunter race. Where did you train?" Her eyes were caught with the blazing cinders of holy fire as she spat the words at me. However, for all of her anger, her words didn't quite reach me, my pulse was still racing in my ears, my mind trying to process everything that had happened.

 _The party. Anxiety. Alexander. Octavia. Pain. Betrayal. Demon. Shadowhunter. Fear._

Suddenly all of it rushed over me like a raging storm. A life's worth of fear and anxiety ate at me, fed from me, draining me. A dark cloud came over me, pouring through me, taking away my sight and abruptly, I felt nothing. Numbness. The fake seraph blade dropped from my grasp with a deafening clatter upon the pavement. My eyes rolled backwards into my skull and the events of the day began to fade out of memory as I drifted from existence, though just before I lost all consciousness, my weakened, spent body caught to echo of someone calling my name from a distance.

" _November!"_

November...

 _That's right, it's November now. The first day of November. My eighteenth birthday._

Then the shadows descended and I was gone.


	7. Forsaken

CHAPTER VII

 _Forsaken_

* * *

The first thing that came to me as I awoke was the sound of hushed unfamiliar voices speaking, in what you could barely call a whisper, above me. Judging by what they were saying, I guessed I was still dreaming.

"Her runes. They still haven't faded, Jules" a female voice says, filled with curiosity and sounding faintly familiar.

"That's weird, they should've by now. Especially this one, soundless" a male voice replied softly, sounding slightly older and accented with a hint of American.

I felt a soft finger poking at my inner arm.

"Has Clary come up with some longer lasting runes or something?"

"Don't be stupid, Em. You know she hasn't"

"Whatever. She's a lame excuse for a Shadowhunter anyway, weird" the girl says. _If only I had control of my limbs already._ I felt a shift in weight on the bed where I was laid, making the balance uneven so that I rolled ever so slightly to the left, just touching another human body. Someone had sat down at my side. If I had been more awake I would have blushed or panicked, but -as it was- my senses were still deep in the peaceful realms of slumber, where fear and panic couldn't reach; meaning that my brain hadn't processed the situation properly, so in this moment I felt no fear, anxiety or embarrassment, "Jules are you even listening?" now the girl sounded irritated.

"What's wrong with her, Em" the male wondered aloud, voice catching with concern.

"How am I supposed to know? Strange thing for a Shadowhunter, just stood there as I chased down the Behemoth demon and didn't even budge as it was about to eat her. She just held out this" I heard a faint rustle, "and then dropped after I killed it" the young girl's voice was sounding increasingly familiar.

"But... this is fake"

"Yeah, I hadn't noticed" her voice is riddled with sarcasm.

"Who are you?" the boy mutters under his breath, addressing me, but I was helpless to reply. Then he spoke louder to the girl, "Hmm... did you try an iratze?"

"Hm... no. Didn't think to at the time, I was interrupted by that guy"

 _Guy. What guy?_ My brain is still foggy, but as I was slowly coming to I could faintly remembered hearing a voice cry out to me before I fell under.

"Oh _Emma,_ I can't believe you. No wonder she hasn't woken up" the boy's voice rose with annoyance. After some scuffling, some movement and a shift in weight again on the bed, I felt a gentle hand on my arm and then a painful, burn-like sting itch at my skin.

"Stop! _What are you doing!?"_ a very familiar voice shouts from the other end of the room, echoing off the walls. This was the voice of Alexander, and he sound angry. Really angry.

"Giving her an iratze. It'll heal her, you know that?" the boy's voice is laced with confusion, taken aback by Alexander's outcry.

 _Why should Alexander know that? Iratze... to heal. This was a strange dream. And I didn't want to wake up._

"You're going to kill her!" Alexander cries and I hear heavy footsteps running across stone flooring and then another hand on my arm, rougher, pushing away the other. Then suddenly the irritating sensation of stinging vanished, _"She's not a Shadowhunter!"_

I felt a body being pushed forcefully off the bed and then a few stumbling footsteps, edging backwards to crash into what I could only guess was a table. Silence rang through the room heavily, lingering for a couple seconds, then a quiet voice broke through, edged with alarm,

"Julian... _what have you done?"_

"I... I..." the boy stammered in reply, sounding startled and filled with regret. A ringing clatter of something being dropped onto the stone floor echoed through the room. Waking up my foggy brain from its slumber, "Bu-but... she's okay..."

I felt a dozen eyes staring at me as I pulled my brain back together. Then it all comes back. Octavia, the party, Alexander and...

 _No, not possible..._

I remember what had caused me to black out.

 _The demon. The girl. Shadowhunters._

It was all true.

My emotions all flood back to me in a raging torrent, ripping me clean from my sleep.

"Hey" the boy said, "I think, I think she's waking up"

Damn right I was. And whoever it was who was touching my arm needed to be removed. Heat swells from the source, rising to my cheeks in a flush of embarrassment and anger. My emotions were out of control. My eyes snapped open. After a second of blurred confusion, the scene above me comes into focus. Three people stood around the bed, staring at me like I was some kind of experiment. Alexander was closest, leant over me with one hand touching my arm, eyes swarmed with concern.

 _Why should he be concerned? He sure wasn't concerned last night when he was snogging my best friend._

Ex-Best friend.

That realisation dawns on me, the withered and broken state of our relationship, causing tears to well in my eyes.

 _Anger. Hurt. Fear. Betrayal. Anxiety. Confusion._ All whipping around within me like a tornado who didn't know which house to destroy first. As it turned out, anger came most easily.

The two people stood at either side of the bed were unknown to me. The first was the girl -Emma- I recognise as the Shadowhunter from last night, looking uncharacteristically intrigued by my arousal and still dressed in what she had worn last night. The boy -whom she called Julian- was closer to me, on the other side looking anxiously down at me, with eyes fashioned from the purest oceans. His hair was dark brown like pure chocolate and unruly, hanging in waves over his head. I could recognise the marks of an artist from the paint that stained his hands and the black clothes that looked like he had just thrown on, as they were the same kind that always marked my face, hands, arms and clothes every time I emerged from the Art room at school. He had a beautiful face defined with high cheekbones and was tall and thin, but I couldn't tear my eyes from his beautiful blue-green ones. Growing up, I'd always been fascinated with beauty and capturing beauty so I can't help but stare at the boy for a moment before noticing my surroundings.

As I looked around myself I noticed I was in a long hall with an arched ceiling that reminded me of a the hospital wing in Harry Potter and I was laid down on one of the black, wrought-iron beds that lined the walls with matching bedside tables. I was in the bed furthest from the door by a window and diagonal from a long table decked with some kind of medicinal supplies. The room impressed my with its vast ornateness, resembling that of a church complete with exquisite stained glass windows which made the light shine through onto my bed in angular prism of colours; I gasp at its beauty as I start to sit up.

I was about to move my left arm to help me sit up when I realised, once again, that someone was holding it. And that that someone was Alexander.

I bolt upright, ripping his hand from my arm and pushing myself backwards into the wall at my back to get my distance from him. The three look down at my display with alarm, moving backwards, further away from me. Alexander, noticing his mistake, draws backwards with them, hurt and rejection lingering in his eyes but continues to watch me as I lean back against the wall, drawing my knees inwards to my body and hugging them.

 _What did they expect? How did they think I would react to waking up in a unknown room full of strangers?_

I then finally found my voice.

"Where am I?" I squeak, my voice uneven an quiet.

Silence. I am answered only by stares. The three continue to stare at me cautiously like I was about to explode or turn into a flying monkey. Following the direction of their stares I look down at my arm, where I had felt stinging before Alexander's intervention. At first, I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, just a arm but with fake runes tattooed onto it. But then, looking over the runes, I noticed something different. Most of the fakes I had applied yesterday before the party were now flaking and worn after the events of the evening, but one stood out, different from the rest. On my lower middle arm, just below my wrist, was a rune that appeared fresh, new, one I recognise as an Iratze. Staring at it, mesmerised, I slowly reached out my hand to touch it, but on contact, found it white hot. I winced with pain, tearing my hand away from its scorching touch. The truth dawned on me, creeping into my mind as I felt the pain of a burn alight in my arm and sear through my body. The stinging pain earlier, it was the pain of a rune being drawn through my skin. Burn-like and red hot.

 _ _I knew what happened when untrained mundanes were given runes._ _

_I was forsaken..._

* * *

I was waiting for an agonising pain to consume me, to course through my body and drive me over the brink of insanity, never to return. And I kept waiting and then waiting for the inevitable.

Nothing.

I open my eyes, which had been squeezed shut in anticipation, to stare at my arm, at the newly-applied iratze. Tentatively, I reach out my hand to touch it again, already wincing at the memory of the pain, prepared for the sear of burning flesh to greet my touch. But I find my skin normal and whole under my hand. Nothing out of the ordinary. I had born the mark. I was alive. I was still _me_. Unforsaken and whole.

A symphony of relieved sighs breath around me, I glance upwards to see three faces breathing in reprieve, weights of alarm lifted from their expressions.

"You're... okay?" Julian asked hesitatingly.

"Yeah, I'm...fine" I reply, my voice faint with shock.

"She bore the mark." Alexander utters under his breath in shock and disbelief, "How is that possible?"

"You said she _wasn't_ a Shadowhunter" the girl -Emma- begins, "She should be loony by now"

"I'm no crazier than I was before _actually_ " I surprise myself with my counter. Emma seems miffed but impressed at my unexpected come-back, I suddenly felt like I was being appraised. The sound of sudden laughter then took me off-guard. _Alexander._

"Why are you here, Alexander?" I asked, my tone quiet bottled emotion.

"Well, looking after you it seems" he replies with amusement dancing in his eyes. It was clear he expected me to fall in to the same repartee we had done so easily last night. _Has he forgotten what he did?_

"I _do not_ need taking after!" I half-shout in indignance. Alexander seemed shocked by my outburst but took it in his stride, answering,

"That much is abundantly clear. But an escort can hardly leave a lady in need, unchaperoned, with stranger" he teased, voice rising in glee, trying to tempt me back into complacence by using our joke from last night, only making me more angry.

"Be _serious_ Alexander. Why are you here? What makes you think I'd ever want to see you again after last night!?" it takes effort to lower my voice.

"Last night?" he responded with a look of ignorance. _This guy._

"Last night. When you snogged my drunk best-friend right in front of me?!"

" _You did that?"_ Julian chimes in, now looking eyes narrowed at Alexander in disbelief.

Alexander looked like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar, his face crumbled in anguish and regret before looking up to me with his beautiful green eyes filled with misery.

" _Please"_ he utters softly, looking at me imploringly his eyes pleading understanding, "Let me explain"

"Erm. Hate to break up a lovers spat" Emma interrupted, I was glad for the intrusion, "But we have more _pressing_ matters at hand. Like, I don't know, that fact that the girl isn't _ripping us to shreds right now_ "

"This is _not_ a lovers spat. And I have a name you know" I blurt out in exasperation.

"Yeah, well I don't know it"

"What _is_ your name" asked Julian calmly, ignoring the explosive atmosphere.

"November"

"November" he smiles, "Well, November, I'm Julian and this is Emma, my _parabatai_ "

Suddenly nervous, I strained a smile in reply.

"So" Emma says "How _did_ you survive the rune?"

I was about to reply with 'I don't know' when Julian said,

"Sorry about that, by the way, see we thought you were a Shadowhunter. And can you blame us, judging by the way you're dressed?"

"Oh, it's fine. I'm okay, aren't it?"

"Don't _forgive him_ so easily November!" Alexander exclaims, "You could have-"

"No harm done" I finished, electing to ignore Alexander's presence completely.

"Why are you dressed like that? Now did you do these?" Emma gestured to my fake runes.

"Oh, well it's a Halloween costume. These are fake tattoos" I answer, "You see, I'm a big fan of the book series so I...erm... decided to go as a Shadowhunter" I finish, blushing with embarrassment.

" _Mundanes._ You and your holidays. Did you ever stop and think that a _real_ Shadowhunter might have mistaken you for one?" Emma's voice reels in anger, chastising me. _Was she always like this?_

"Well,in _my_ world, you're forgetting, you're all _fiction"_

"Anyway, Emma" Julian shot his _parabatai_ a look of warning, "One thing is abundantly clear. November here isn't a mundane."

" _What?"_ I answered, bewildered by his implication, "That's _not possible_. I'm normal, I'm entirely mundane. Nothing unusual about me" I tried to laugh it off like it was all some joke.

"November" Julian walked over to where I sat on the bed, hugging my knees. He sat softly beside me an placed a gentle, comforting hand on my knee, saying slowly, with an ease like one would use to calm a startled horse, "You're bore a mark, you're not a mundane. At least, not a normal one"

"But. But...how?" I answer, now unable to deny the impossible truth.

"I guess that's what we need to find out" Julian said, smiling, "You're welcome to stay here at the Institute while we do"

 _The Institute..._

" _The Institute?! Where am I?"_ I asked in alarm. With all the commotion I had forgotten that I had ran off so quickly last night, none of my friends knew where I went and Octavia was supposed to be my ride home. Even a drunk Octavia wouldn't have forgotten that. But then all that crazy shit happened and I guess I ended up here.

 _Oh God. Darcy was probably worried sick, Katelyn and Caleb included. They probably think I've been killed or kidnapped or... well anything. I need to get home._

"Duh, you're at the London Institute" Emma chimes in, looking down at me like I was stupid.

"What about my family? My friends? They're all going to be wondering where I am?"

 _If my Mum has even come back yet._ Is what I didn't say.

"You don't need to worry about them" a sheepish voice said from the corner of my eye. Alexander slunk back into my view like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"Oh? And why is that?" I question with spite and malice edging my voice, still thoroughly pissed at him.

"Can we have a minute guys?" he asked Julian and Emma, who then began to dutifully leave. Emma strutted off to the door without looking back whilst Julian smiled ruefully at me before following Emma to the door, and then I was alone. Alone with the last person in the world I wanted to speak to at the moment, especially with what's going on around me. My entire world had been thrown off-balance, leaving me hanging on the edge barely able to hold on from falling into the swirling storm around me. Before this, Julian and Emma had been my distraction, keeping me in place and my emotions in check. But now, alone with Alexander and my thoughts. I was a breath away from a meltdown.

 _How did the people in my books usually cope with this?_

I scoffed, they made it seem easy. They usually heard the news and accepted it just like that, before getting on with whatever they needed to do. Generally ending with them saving the world. But they were _fictional._ Written like that.

 _Or were they?_

The events of the morning were causing me to question everything I'd even known, every book I'd ever read and every story I'd ever been told. I was so _not_ dealing with this. The subject of my storming thoughts were causing my head to spin. In an attempt to steady it I propped it back so it was resting against the wall and I was looking up into the rafters, tears beginning to fall from my eyes.

" _How can any of this be true?"_


	8. Shadowhunter

CHAPTER VIII

 _Shadowhunter_

* * *

I hadn't realised that I had said that aloud for a few minutes, as Alexander waited until the sound of the door slamming shut behind Julian echoed through the room to our ears to reply.

"Quite easily actually, hadn't you heard? All of the stories are true..." his voice took a light tone of triviality but in his eyes I could see that he was serious. All I could reply with was a faint scoff overtaken but a choke of tears and then I remained silent. When I said nothing, Alexander moved cautiously towards where I sat on the bed, and after careful deliberation, sat beside me, making sure to leave a good 5 inch gap between us. Silence reigned for the next couple minutes as my mind whirled, fighting a battle between what was fiction and what was reality.

"So..." Alexander began after a while, "How're you doing?"

" _How am I doing?"_ I reply in astonishment. _Was this guy completely stupid? What a question to ask me,_ "I've just been told, _not only_ that a world that before now firmly belonged in fiction was all true but that I was actually _not human_ or even _normal_ , but that I belonged in said world. My entire sense of reality has been thrown off balance and my world turned upside down, and you're asking me _how I'm doing_ " my irritation had spun into a full blown rant.

Alexander chuckled softly at my reaction, taking some form of amusement from my inner meltdown.

"Remind me. _Why are you here again?_ " I press.

"Because, I can't leave you alone" Alexander finally answer, all tone of amusement of laughter gone, "Last night, as I watched you run off, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to run after you. But I was held back by Octavia and then Aiden. In the end I wasn't able to come after you until about half an hour later and then it took me a good ten minutes to find you. Did you know that you're extremely good at hiding November?"

Now it was my turn to laugh, though I didn't think I had it in me, which resulted in the half laugh, half sob that broke from my throat.

"Well, I've had my practice" I choked, in between restrained sobs. Thankfully, he overlooked my unsightly display of emotion.

"Have you had practice running too, because you ran a good distance from the party. I found you just in time to watch you collapse and uselessly call out to you"

"So that _was_ you" I was too tired to remain outwardly angry at him and had too many other worries swelling my mind to spend a thought on what happened last night now. Though the image of him and Octavia locked in a kiss still hurt, a world of fiction come to life seemed to take more of a toll, funnily enough.

"Yes it was and I couldn't let Miss _high and mighty_ out there kart you off to the institute alone, so I followed and made sure you were alright. The only time I left your side was when I briefly left, after we got you here, to tell all of your friends that I was taking you home. Oh, and Octavia gave me this" He fumbled around, digging for something in the depths of his pocket before presenting me with my phone. The sight of it made me tear up anew.

"Wha- what did she say?" I manage to choke out.

"She told me to give you this, and to tell you that she's sorry, though I sense that that's not going to be enough, is it?"

"N- no" tears stream down my face at the memory of my loss of a best friend. Silence hung in the air again, the only sound my muffled sobs as I pushed my head into my knees.

"About what you saw..." Alexander tentatively began again.

"You know what Alexander, I don't want to hear it"

" _Please._ Just hear me out" he begged. I was too exhausted to protest so remained silent, which Alexander took as his cue, "Last night, when we were upstairs talking with your friends, whether I was talking to you or not, half of my attention always remained latched to you..."

 _Oh God,_ where is this going?

"...so, when I heard you tell Darcy that you were tired, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to do something, to help. So, I decided to go and find Octavia, who I remembered you had come with, and get her to take you home. I _thought_ I was doing a good thing. But, when I found her she was-"

"Drunk out of her senses" I finished for him.

"Yes. I was trying to reason with her, do something. I was angry with her for getting so drunk when she knew that she was your only way home. Then suddenly she was kissing me. And _that's_ what you saw."

Seconds tolled between us in silence. _Him,_ looking at me all apologies and concern. _Me,_ looking upwards trying to decide what to do. Turns out, it wasn't hard.

"So... _she_ kissed _you_?"

"Yes" he sighed, eyes lighting up with hope.

"You weren't taking advantage of my drunk best friend?"

" _No"_ he started in alarm.

"Oh, then... that's okay"

"Really? Just like that?" he seemed doubtful, wary that this was some kind of trap.

"Yes. I know what Octavia's like when she's drunk. You're blameless. I thought you were just taking advantage of a girl who was too drunk to think properly." he began to protest determinedly, " And... to be honest I may have been taking out my anger and hurt for what Octavia did, on you... I'm sorry" I look up at him, brows knitted in regret and tears still glistening in my eyes.

"Hey," he nudged my knee with his playfully, " I don't blame you. What she did was terrible, I saw it all, _and_ the look on your face afterwards..." I had too look away, up to the rafters again, to hide the pain and embarrassment that was clearly written all over my face, "And then there's all of this" he gestured to the room around us but I knew what he meant. This new world. What was previously a world of fiction.

"...How am I supposed you deal with all of it?" I ask, now in earnest.

"You will, trust me" he was look at me know. Watching as I moved my gaze to meet his.

"How can I trust you?" _God, I'm such a stereotype._ Teenage girl with trust issues is told she's different and then thrust into a whole new world. _Though hopefully I'm not going to be entrusted with the fate of the world._ That would surely end badly.

"You already have" he smiled now, at the memory of something I couldn't see. And I realised that I had already trusted him before, even in small amounts, when he took me to my friends a the party after Octavia left me and when he brought me here (though I wasn't really counting that, being unconscious and all). "You can take your time, I'm not going anywhere"

"Aren't you?" I retort, doubtful.

"Yep" he said matter-of-factly with an air of amusement. "You're stuck with me for now, especially through all of this" he casts a glance around him, eyes finally settling on me and I then a thought came to me.

"Yeah about that. You seem to be taking this...well" I thought back to when he first came in the room. Julian had said _"It'll heal her, you know that"_ though I guessed his knowledge of that could be put down to his knowledge of the books. _But why should Julian assume that he knows?_ The situation is getting curiouser and curiouser.

"Well... speaking of that. There's something I haven't told you..."

 _Great. What was it this time? Was Jeanine Matthews about to crash though the door and shoot me for being Divergent? No, I know I'm actually a long lost Princess and heir to the throne of Genovia._

"... you know when I said that I knew what your costume was because I'd read the books? Well... that's not entirely true"

" _Really?!_ You're asking me to _trust_ you and now you're telling me one of the first things you said to me was a lie?"

"It wasn't _entirely_ a lie. I _have_ read the books, but that's not why I know."

I now looked at him with his emerald eyes like he was about to tell me the sky is falling.

"I know because..." his words hang for a moment, unfinished in the air, "I _am_ a Shadowhunter"

" _Alexander..."_

He smirks ruefully down at me, his face contorted in sorrow and his eyes swimming in regret.

"No... since you know the truth, there's no use hiding any more. I picked the name Alexander so my family couldn't find me. To make it easier to hide. My real name is Ekain Longford"

" _What?"_ I half whisper, stunned at his revelation, "But, your runes. You have none."

"That's because I stripped them. I'm not _really_ a Shadowhunter. I'm a runaway" Alexander. _Ekain,_ answers, seeming unshirked by the truth.

"But... isn't that _excruciatingly_ painful?"

"Yes... it was" he winces as he speaks the truth, I guess at the memory of the pain.

"... _why?"_ was all I could manage to articulate at this new information. I mean, _I shouldn't be surprised._ Everything I've ever thought to be real and true up until now has be thrown backwards within the last twenty-four hours. But this news astonished me. Alexander. No, _Ekain._ A _Shadowhunter?_

 _How is this all possible? How is it that the one time I agree to go to a party -just so happening to dress up as a Shadowhunter- the first person I meet on arrival, is a runaway Shadowhunter and then, hours later, be attacked by a demon, be mistaken for a Shadowhunter myself and then go on to be given a rune which, miraculously, didn't turn me into a modern day zombie._

The improbability of it all now seemed laughable and I couldn't contain the snigger that was creeping up my throat.

 _Great, now I'm crazy. Maybe I didn't survive the rune after all._

To my surpise, _Ekain_ began to laugh with me, and for a couple minutes we sat together, side by side. A runaway Shadowhunter and a not-so-Mundane. Thrown impossibly together, laughing at the crazy, stupid world that had just erupted around me.


	9. Iratze

CHAPTER IX

 _Iratze_

* * *

Minutes passed without either of us ceasing to laugh and soon we were unable to breathe from laughing. My stomach was it agony and tears rolled still down my cheeks, overflowing from my eyes as a result of the absurdity of the day and my tumult of emotions. But it felt good to laugh. I read a long time ago in a book that y _ou can choose to despair at the world or laugh at it_ and, for now, laughing was the best option. We were both still in fits of laughter when Julian poked his head through the door, wary of interruption. Then -at seeing our occupation- he pushed the door wide open and strode in, frowning in confusion at our state of laughter. Embarrassment flooded through my veins and brought the laughter to an coughed end and I wiped the tears from my eyes.

 _Oh, God._

I forgot I was wearing make-up. I must look as much of a mess outwardly as I feel inside. Newly named Ekain was still laughing as Julian reached the foot of my bed.

"Everything...okay?" he asked puzzled at our display.

"Erm... yeah" I answer, "Do you... erm... Can I use your bathroom?"

"Oh" he smiles, "Of course, down the hall, first door on the left in the left-hand hallway"

I uncurl myself and gradually lift my limbs from the bed, muscles aching in protest. Stretching out and readjusting my clothes, I head for the door, my shoes echoing on the stone flooring.

The door squeaks as I push it open, revealing a long stone hallway hung with ornate tapestries, depicting scenes of Angels and Demons, and a long rouge rug lay beneath my feet, covering the stone. A I walked in the direction Julian told me, I examined the tapestries, fascinated by their beauty and awe. One caught my eye just as I turned the corner into the left hallway. This one was clearly made more recently and embroidered a scene that I recognised from the stories I'd read. There was a girl with flaming red hair -much like mine- kneeled before a towering Angel who looked down on her from above a shining silver lake. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to lightly brush the heavy fabric with my hand.

 _It really was all true._

Strange that it took seeing the tapestry for my mind to finally accept the truth, to truly believe. The scene depicted before me in the tapestry was of Clarissa Morgernstern -or Fray- as she defeated her father Valentine as he summoned the Angel Raziel. In my daydreams I would imagine that I was Clary -I had the hair and the height for it- and that soon I would be whisked away into a world of Warlocks and Angels. I flushed in embarrassment at the thought now, knowing it was all true and wondered at myself for wishing it. Well, _wish granted_ , I was now in a world of Shadows and I didn't know what to make of it. True, I had always wanted it, always wanted a way out of my mundane world of reality which, by no other words, sucked really. But now that I was in this world, of Shadowhunters, Warlocks, Angels, everything I wondered how I had never thought of how confusing, complicated and difficult my life would get if I did find out that all of these _fictional_ characters, this _fictional_ world was _real._

 _Just who was Cassandra Clare?_

The thought stayed with me as I eventually found the bathroom, thrumming through my brain. When I finally braved looking in the mirror I almost didn't recognise myself. My hair was a tangled mess behind my back and smudged black eyeliner and mascara was smeared all over my red-veined eyes and down my cheeks. I was truly a mess. My clothes actually weren't that bad, other than the stains of black, demon ichor just visible on the black fabric and -as I already knew- the fake runes I had applied were flaking, all except one. The real one.

I found myself touching the _iratze_ again, feeling just how real it was and I realised it had done its job. I felt better, better than I had in a long time actually. From constant stress I had a lowered immune system, so I was perpetually in a state of slight illness. Never truly feeling good. But now, my limbs felt light and sprightly, my head wasn't pounding from the headaches I generally woke up with. I took a deep breath in and felt oxygen fill my lungs.

" _Woah"_ I breathed, filling energy pulse through my body.

But there was no use denying that I was a mess, in no presentable state. I debated it, then went to ask if there was a shower I could use, when I heard a hard knock sound from the wooden door.

"Hey, can I come in?" it was Emma. I was surprised that she actually asked but I saw no reason to keep her out, so I walked over and opened the door. She had changed clothes into more casual attire. Black Jeans and a cyan blue hooded jacket. And it appeared that she had showered as her hair was damp and pulled back into a long braid, still dripping, down her back. In her arms she held a folded towel and some other pieces of folded fabric underneath that I couldn't make out from under the towel.

"You look like a mess" she said. _God, this girl._

"Thanks," I reply sarcastically,"I _hadn't noticed"_

"Well, _here"_ she shoved the pile of fabric into my arms, I stumble and almost drop it, "Follow me"

She turns around and begins to march with intent in the opposite direction. I deliberate for a moment and then hurry to follow her through the unknown halls. I try to make note of the direction in which we're going so I can find my way back, but after a few corridors I forget and give up on the endeavour. We walk past ornate mirrors, stained glass windows and even more tapestries. Doors and doors sat closed on each side of the hallways, leading to unknown rooms and new places that twigged at my curiosity. I wondered if there were any more people here. I knew that Julian had many younger siblings but I hadn't seen hide nor hair of them, of anybody other than myself, Ekain, Julian and Emma. Come to think of it, according to C _ity of Heavenly Fire_ , Emma and Julian and the rest of his siblings were going to stay at the Los Angeles Institute weren't they? Yes, I remembered specifically that Julian's Uncle Arthur was going to take over as Head. _So, what are they doing here?_ While I was thinking this, I didn't realise that I had slowed down and was staring off blindly into space. Snapping out of it, I jogged to catch up with Emma, cursing at myself for being so absent-minded. Eventually, she pauses for a moment outside a door before pushing it open and walking inside. I hesitate then, as she turns around to me holding the door open and giving me a _what are you doing_ look, follow her inside. The room is large and square, a double bed centring it and definitely lived it. The bed was sloppily made and there were items shoved hastily under the bed. I knew it was her bedroom when I saw her short sword -Cortana- hung in a brace above the bed. After I walked it, looking around my new surroundings, Emma shut the door.

"Through that door" she began, nodding towards the door to the right of the bed, "Use the shower. You can use my soap and conditioner and in that pile you're holding there are some clothes that should fit"

I was startled by her thoughtfulness, up until now she had been all fire and sarcasm.

".. _.Thank you"_ I breathed, grateful but still surprised.

"Yeah well you've had a long night. And I can't stand to look at you, _God,_ go clean yourself, _imp"_

She just couldn't stand being _nice_ , could she? Though I could then tell that she was the type who may be overtly argumentative and sarcasm, but is actually kind-like me, in a way, but I was always too scared to be rude to anyone. I smirked to myself but said nothing, not wanting to push it, and walked to the door. As I reached it, I smiled at her in thanks before opening the door and stepping inside, sighing in relief at the blissful prospect of a shower.


	10. Dreams

CHAPTER X

 _Dreams_

* * *

I took my time in the shower, working out all the knots and tangles in my hair, savouring the steaming droplets falling onto my back in absolute bliss. I immediately felt the difference the second I reluctantly turned off the water and stepped out, fumbling desperately for a towel to wrap around my now shivering body. Once I found it, I folded it around me like a cloak and went to search through the clothes Emma had given me. In the pile was a pair of pants, socks, black skinny jeans, a plain grey tank top and a dark blue hooded jacket. Obviously she couldn't lend me a bra, which I wouldn't have wanted anyway, but other than that we were -thankfully- the same size. When I deemed myself dry enough, I dropped the damp towel and quickly dressed in the clothes before moving to the mirror. Just before I had gotten into the shower, Emma had knocked on the door again. When I had wrapped the towel around myself and opened the door, she shoved an eyeliner pencil and mascara in my hands, muttering something along the lines of "You're going to need your war paint" then turned and left. Now the eyeliner and co sat on the sink before the mirror. Looking into my reflection, noticing the change in my look, I worked on my hair before anything else. If I was at home, I would leave it down but here, knowing my luck, I wasn't going to risk the frizz. So I pulled it back into a high pony tail, much like last night, with a few stubborn strands hanging around my neck and face. After donning my habitual eyeliner and mascara, I picked up my old, dirty clothes and exited the room.

I found the bedroom I knew to be Emma's empty with not even a note left. _ _Figures.__ But she surely doesn't expect me to find my way back in this place by myself, __does she?__ I sighed to myself, seeing I had no other option and walked back to the hall outside the room, finding it by no means familiar, and started walking back the way I thought we had come. After traipsing through hall after hall, each one unfamiliar as the last, I admitted to myself that I was lost. But what could I do about it? Nothing. So I continued walking through the unknown building, hoping to see something familiar.

* * *

What felt to be hours later, still hopelessly lost, I stumbled upon a door that had been left ajar and -my curiosity getting the best of me- peeked in. Once my eyes had taken in what lay beyond the door, my feet began to take me further inside, all of their own accord. My jaw dropped as my eyes looked all around me, thinking that I had found my heaven. All around me, soaring high into the arched ceiling, filling shelf after shelf, were books. Beautiful, ancient tombs, classics still in their original copies, frozen in time. Mesmerised, I moved forward, my arms dropping the pile of clothes absent-mindedly onto a nearby table, towards a bookcase further to the right hand side of the room, beside a gorgeous window seat that looked fit to belong in a Jane Austen novel. I gasped in awe as my hand brushed upon the stacked books, and a familiar title catching my eye, pulled out one. In my hands now was an old, beautifully reserved copy of Dickens, __A Tale of Two Cities__. Breathlessly I brushed my hand over the cover, delight filling my eyes and carefully opened the book. As I opened it, my eyes flickered inquisitively. Seeing a passage handwritten in beautiful script, covering the first page. In any other case, I would have scorned at the vision of a person destroying the sacred copy of a beautiful book such as this, but the words caught me. Written in handwriting much like my own, I was just able to read the flowing script, my attention encompassed by the words bound with love. I couldn't make it all out, but what I read was:

 _"_ _\- to imagine that, isn't it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy._

 _Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had - When I read it for the second t-_

 _-at last I am free, and I- tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart._

 _You are not the last dream of my soul._

 _You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime's worth._

 _With hope at least-"_

The last words, a name, was illegible to my eyes. Though I stood, transfixed, there for how much time I knew not. My body, my mind captured by the true, honest words of the heart. My own heart beat slowly as the feeling of love encompassed through the script travelled from the letters and into my veins, thrumming through my body. Tingling at my skin and filling an emptiness inside me with the breathless, raw emotion of love. It beat through my fingertips. Breathed with me. And I was lost to the world around me, in those words.

"Who are you?"

The sound of someone's voice ripped me from my trance with shock that suddenly pierced through my veins, beating with my frantic heart and chasing away the feeling of love until it was a distant memory. The unexpected shock of the voice had startled me enough to lose all sense of balance and I tumbled disgracefully to the wood flooring, the book clumsily falling from my grasp. My eyes wildly searched for the source of the voice, finally coming to rest on a boy who stood looking inquisitively down at me from the library's other entrance at the end of the room, opposite to the one I had entered from. He was young, younger than Julian and probably about my age. His eyes were an unusual and fascinating shade of grey, veiled by long dark eyelashes the same shade of black as his short, dark hair and was fairly skinny. Now, he continued to look down at me, his head aloft and angled slightly to the side in a display of curiosity which made me feel like an animal on display at the zoo, as he began to walk slowly towards me and repeated his question.

"Who are you?"

I opened my mouth to reply but found my body still paralysed from shock. The unknown situation had my heart beating furiously in my throat like a drum and anxiety rose up from my stomach to swim around my head, wreaking havoc in my thoughts and brain. I knew I needed to reply, I would only make it worse if it didn't. I felt in the moment trapped in my own body, helpless to reply. To do anything. But, fortunately, there was one thing even my anxiety couldn't beat. Even from a young age, there was one thing I was told I possessed, that I held in my possession, to call at my will.

" _ _You have a strong will, November"__

I can't drive away the emotions, but I can take back control of my body.

In the time it had taken me to resolve the abounding issues stored up inside my head, the boy had moved to stand across from me, keeping a respectful distance, and looked at me now with more than curiosity, but rather that he didn't quite know what to make of me. I realised that I had probably been laid here looking like a idiot scared out of her wits for at least three minutes. __Just reply already, damnit.__

"I- er- November" I manage to choke and stammer out, passably understandable.

He looked confused at my words.

"No, not the month. What's your __name?"__ he made particular efforts in enunciating the last word whilst looking at me as if I were stupid. Suddenly I felt insulted.

"My name __is__ November"

"But, that's __the month__ " he uttered the words with a tone of disbelief, like I didn't understand what I was saying.

" _ _Excuse me?__ " I was really starting to feel offence. _ _Is this guy serious?__

"You're name, it's the month. The first of November" he said.

"I __know__. I'm not __stupid.__ I was named that because it's my birthday" the realisation shocked me a little a new. __How could I have forgotten my eighteenth birthday?__

" _ _November...__ " the boy muttered under his breath, looking as if he was working out some mathematical problem, " _ _Birthday...__ today, is your birthday?"

"Yes" I reply, the surprise I had felt when I realised it was my birthday ringing through my voice. Noticing I was still sat uncomfortably on the floor, I stood up. Dusting off my loaned clothes. As I did this, the boy seemed to notice something.

"Your clothes... why are you wearing Emma's clothes?"

"She, er... she leant them to me"

"Why?"

"Because mine were ruined" I reply. __Was is this, twenty questions?__

"Why were they ruined?" he asked, again. I roll my eyes.

"A demon" I say, which he deems an acceptable enough reason and drops the interrogation. I decide to turn the tables and ask, "What's __your__ name?"

"I'm Tiberius"

"Like the Roman emperor" I remember from my Latin lessons.

"Yes" he says and it's his turn to be surprised, like he didn't expect me to know that.

The conversation drops and silence hangs in the air in its place. I could tell that he was a Shadowhunter from the runes peeking from the cuffs of his quarter length turquoise shirt and remember that Tiberius is one of Julian's younger brothers. Twins. I wonder where the others are. Seeing there was nothing to keep me there, but not wanting to me rude, I hesitate to leave. Instead, walking to where my own clothes were heaped on top of the table, pretending I had something to do. Just as I reach the pile, I feel a buzzing vibration in my pocket and then sound of music echoes through the lofted room. My ringtone.

With a glance to Tiberius, who was looking around the ceiling as if inspecting the space for the sound, I answer.

"Hello?" I say, not remember what name popped up on the screen.

"November" a familiar voice huffs in a sigh of relief. Darcy, "Where have you been? Where did you go? You disappeared on me last night and I couldn't find you. I was left with a drunk Octavia and you know what's that like. After you ran off Katelyn and Caleb came into the kitchen apparently having heard all of it and started having a full on domestic on Octavia. Which, although I thoroughly enjoyed, was embarrassing and I was worried about you. Then Alexander comes back and tells us he's taking you home and-"

"Darcy!" I cut her off before she can continue, wondering how she managed to get all of that out without passing out from oxygen deficiency. I hestiate to speak, clueless as what to tell her. From the moment I left her up until now my life has been crazy and definitely unexplainable. __Just what am I going to tell her?__ The truth? __God, no.__ At least not now, and definitely not over the phone. There's a big chance she'll think I'm crazy, or deluded, or something. For now, I'll tell her as close to the truth as I can, "Geez, give me a chance. It's all okay, I'm fine. Just, after was Octavia did..."

"I know. The _ _bitch__. You must have been _ _devastated__. I understand why you ran off but tell me something, or at least let me know you're okay!"

"Isn't that what I'm doing now?" I try to make amends, though I hear her sigh in reply through the phone.

"It's fine. You were distressed so I'll let you off this once"

"Thank you" I sigh, grateful at her understanding.

"But I won't forgive you until you tell me where you are"

 _ _Damn__ , she caught me off guard and I don't know what to say. __What do I tell her?__

"Erm... at home. Where else would I be?" I say, trying to brush it off.

"No you're not, I'm at your house"

 _ _Shit.__

"Erm... er" I stammer down the line, utterly oblivious as what to say now.

" _ _Where are you November Highriver?__ " she presses.

"I'm...er. I'm at... Ekai- Alexander's" I think up an excuse just in time. __That's plausible, right?__

"You're at Alexander's? Right now?" she replies doubtfully, obviously suspicious.

"Yeah, he- he brought me back to his last night"

"And why is that?"

"Because I was... I was in too much of a state to direct him to my house and his was closer"

"Uh-huh" she mutters, still sounding suspicious of my impromptu explanation, "And just why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"

"I was embarrassed"

That's nearly the truth.

"Well, I want to see you. It's your birthday after all. When are you coming back?"

Suddenly she was giving me an option. An option I hadn't up until now considered. Running.

I could leave all of this behind and live out as I always had. The line ran silent as she waited for my answer. She didn't know she had just presented me with a major life decision that I needed to answer within the next minute.

 _ _This life. What happened. Isn't this what I'd always wanted? Always dreamed of?__

If I stay here, find out what's so different about me, wouldn't I be living my dream... finally living in my world of fiction? But just what would that life hold...

An image of the demon flashed behind my eyes, the burning pain of the rune, the pain and confusion welling up inside me like a dam.

 _ _It would be so easy, so simple. Leave. Do what I'd always intended. Finish school... university...__

I had always thought it would never be enough. I had always thought I would leap at the chance of a life like this, and never look back. But right now, I didn't think I wasn't ready to give it all up. To take a risk of the life of fiction, the life I wanted.

 _ _Was I ready... or not?__

"Actually Darcy" I begin, the weight of my whole life balancing in the unsteady tremor of my voice, "Can you come and pick me up?"

My mind wandered as our conversation continued. Meaningless words travel from my mouth down the line. Where I was, how far away it is... but I wasn't paying attention. I was taking in my surroundings, committing everything I saw to memory. My gaze coming to rest on the boy as I mutter goodbye to Darcy.

"Tiberius" I say, my voice dazed and airy, "Could you show me the way out?"

He nodded and began to walk towards to door I had entered from, gesturing for me to follow. I pick up my clothes, stuff my phone in my pocket and walk.


	11. Goodbye

CHAPTER XI

 _Goodbye_

* * *

By the time we reach the entrance, after walking in silence through endless corridors -that made me realise that I would have never found my way out, or anywhere, without help- I'm resolved and ready to say goodbye to the place, to say goodbye to my brief adventure with fiction, but I couldn't bring it to myself to say goodbye to Emma, to Julian... to Ekain. So, when we reach the doors, I say to Tiberius:

"When you see your brother, and Emma and a boy that will be with them. Would you tell them I said goodbye? And thank you?"

"I can. But why don't you do that yourself?" he asks in earnest.

"Because.. because I've never been good at conversing, at dealing with people. And right now, it's just too hard to say goodbye"

He had an expression on his face that said that he didn't understand, by thankfully he dropped the issue and accepted it. Just before I leave, my hand resting on the handle of the large, ornate wooden doors, I turn to him.

"Thank you, Tiberius. And goodbye"

I open the heavy doors and exit before I give him the chance to say anything and even to see the expression on his face and whether he said goodbye back. It's cold outside, a biting cold and I am suddenly increasingly grateful for Emma's hoodie. I pull it closer around me with the hand that isn't clutching the pile of my clothes to my side. I walk forwards into the daylight, finding it mid-morning with the Sun sitting aloft in the blue, autumn sky. I'm walking in what appears to be the grounds surrounding a church. A stoned pathway is beneath my feet, beside a dew-dropped expanse of vivid, green grass scattered with ageing headstones. I look back to see not the Institute, but an abandoned church. The glamour has returned to my vision. The life, that world now forever veiled from me.  
I continue walking, head down, towards the street where I knew Darcy would pull up upon seeing me. I look up at the cloudless blue sky, not even bothering to raise my hand to shield my squinting eyes from the harshly bright Sun. That way, if anyone happens to glance at my face, they'll just assume the tears forming at the corners of my eyes are from the brightness of the Sun, never knowing, never even guessing at the truth. I stop at the edge of the curb, prepared to stand and wait patiently for her to arrive, battling the rising storm of thoughts threatening to rage in my head.  
I was stood there, waiting in the cold, my breath visibly rising in the air before me, for a couple minutes, when I heard a shout, a shout of my name, from around me.

"November!"

I look up and ahead, expecting to see Darcy driving towards me in her car, window down and shouting for me. But she's not there. I look around and quickly realise that it wasn't her voice I heard, when a heavy hand closes over my right shoulder. Firmly clasping me it in his warm, steady hand. I realise who's voice it was, always calling out to me.

"November"

I turn around and see Ekain, breathless behind me, his hair ruffled by the wind and his clothes slightly rumpled. He appeared to have ran from inside the Institute. How far, I didn't know. But from what I knew of the interior of the Institute. It could have well been miles.

"Ekain..." I didn't know what to say to him. __Why did he follow me?__

"Tiberius. He found us. He told us you said goodbye, and thank you.. You're not... you're not leaving?" he says, seeming reluctant to believe what he was told.

"What Tiberius said was true. I am leaving" I reply softly.

"But, but you can't just __leave__ " he protests.

"I can, and I am"

"But, November, the rune. You need to find out why..."

"No I don't, and I don't need to stay"

"Yes you do!" he shouts back, anger swelling his voice. I feel my own anger rising to the surface.

"For what? To find out everything I've ever known is a lie!? Why should I? I have a life, I have friends, even a possible future waiting for me... I know how these things work out. I've read the books. Know the stories. The hero always finds out everything she's ever been told is a lie. The hero always loses something, somebody. And I've lost enough. I don't have much, but I have enough. What I have is safe, sure. Unlike your world, your life"

"That's _fiction_ November! You have no idea what it's really like!"

"Oh really? Because I'm not sure what's fiction and what's reality any more! And tell me honestly, what reason have I to stay?"

"The truth. Surely some part of you is itching to know the truth, who you really are? What better reason is there to stay?"

"From what I've learnt, some truths are better left buried. Or written in books..."

My words ring with finality, I look up at him, prepared to say a final goodbye, but I just can't bring myself to. My mouth can't form the words I take in his face, handsome and distressed, his hair dishevelled, committing his emerald eyes, flared with anger and sorrow, forever to memory.  
A familiar car catches my eye from the corner of my vision, the bright orange of the bonnet flashing in the sunlight. And I run. Even before the car reaches the street, I run for the car, seeing it stop as Darcy sees me. Echoing the events of last night, behind my back I hear someone shout.

"You can't deny you're own blood November! From what __I've__ learnt, blood __will__ out"

Ekain's voice thunders through my ears, reaching, pulling at my heart. But I don't turn back.

I open the car door, get in and look straight ahead as Darcy turns and drives away.


	12. Nightfall

CHAPTER XII

 _Nightfall_

* * *

In the weeks to come, I was so busy with school work I hardly had time to dwell on the world I had closed the door to, and was quite happy, grateful even, for the distraction. My days were filled with projects, coursework and homework on top of that, so I could barely have a thought to spare that wasn't focused on my piling school work. However, at every chance my mind began to wander it would bring me back to the hallowed halls of the Institute and all that had passed that night, taking me back to a haunting pair of eyes, green like emerald. And every time, I would abruptly stop and shake those thoughts from my mind, telling myself over and over to forget. And try I did. I buried myself in my work, spending any free time absorbed in a book or writing fan fiction. I had posted more chapters in such a short space of time than I had ever written at all. I spent the rest of my time at school religiously avoiding Octavia, whom I hadn't spoken to since that night on Halloween, and wasn't in the mind to any time soon. The feat turned out to be surprisingly easy, I hadn't seen hide nor hair of her there, even when I was too tired to put effort into avoiding her. It seemed that she was absenting school frequently of late. Why, I knew not, but neither did I care. She wasn't my best friend any more, wasn't mine to worry about any more, and she could blame herself for that if she dared complain.

But not all of my time could be filled with such distractions, there were always moments were my mind was left free to wander. And wander it did. Always ending at the inevitable. I would walk like a zombie in between lessons, my head lulling and eyes tired. Looking positively ill, or even dead. Lucky not to walk into someone.

On top of that, I hadn't been sleeping well, not well at all. I had always been a bit of a night owl, and an insomniac too. But now my dreams were plagued with nightmares so terrifying I would awaken, alone in the house, in a cold sweat. Filled with unadulterated terror, heart racing and breathing heavily. It would often be that I would not be able to find sleep again on those nights. To counter it, I had made multiple dream catchers in an attempt to ward of the nightmares. None of them had worked, much to my dismay. In a matter of weeks, I had gone from looking eighteen to eighty, with heavy bags under my eyes and a face drooping with fatigue.

The only one who noticed the change was Darcy, who sensed from the beginning that something was off and all but forced me to tell her what was wrong. After days of hounding me, I told her about the nightmares that had been invading my sleep, causing my daily show of zombification. From the look on her face, I could tell that she didn't quite buy my explanation, sensing something more that I wasn't divulging, she was right, but thankfully she let it pass for now and had taken to sleeping over at my house regularly, to accompany me and sooth me from the nightmares that stole my sleep.

Tonight was no exception, I lay quietly in my bed trying to lull myself to sleep under the over of the darkness that filled the room, the only light coming from a gap in the curtains where a full moon just peeked through, bathing me in the beautiful rays of moonlight. Calming my fray nerves a little. Darcy slept on a pull out bed beside mine, breathing softly. I closed my eyes, willing my mind not to wander, but to be dragged into sleep, hoping the nightmares wouldn't come, when I heard a rustling, the sound of Darcy shifting in her sleep. I was envying her for her easy slumber when a sound broke through the tolling silence of the night.

"Are you ever going to tell me what really happened that night, on Halloween?" Darcy's voice, quite awake, pierced through the silence, filling the room with the pitch of her voice.

I feigned slumber, avoiding her question, though knowing that she knew that I was awake. I was going to have to tell her, but the question was, __when?__

And then, answering my question, sleep pulled me in with its iron claws.

* * *

 _ _With each step that I took the ground beneath my feet became hotter. Hotter. Scorching. Until flame licked at my ankles, searing through my skin and leaving my body blackened at their touch with ash. It was that day relived.__

 _ _16:40__

 _ _My footsteps turns to runs. I was tearing through a pathway slowly degrading into ash. When I reached my street it was raining with it. Soft grey flakes dancing down a still, grey sky. Flame consumed my vision, obscuring my view, flickering at the corners of my eyes but I knew I could not stop. Despite the pain ripping through my body at the scalding touch of the flame I ran desperately for my house at the end of the street. In the dream all the other houses were gone, my house stood alone on an empty street consumed with ash and blackened skies. Despite everything, I ran for my lonely house, finding my front door in shards of glass of the floor. Uncaring of how my bare feet were cut into ribbons, I ran head first into the mouth of the fire. When I crossed the threshold, everything stopped.__

 _ _Silence rang through my ears, leaving a cold veil across the house that hung eerily. Lingering in the atmosphere.__

 _ _Time had stopped.__

 _ _It was just like it used to be.__

 _ _Untouched.__

 _ _Unbroken.__

 _ _Unburnt.__

 _ _I tiptoed further into the hallway feeling like with one wrong move everything around me would crumple into soot. But my sole attention was fixed upon upstairs, where I knew my room laid. Still untouched. Still unburnt. Still as it used to be.__

 _ _Carefully I stretched out my hand and placed it on the stair bannister, and for a second, nothing changed.__

 _ _Then the dark wood of the long railing began to seep into a dark, ashen grey at my touch, flooding over the object and creeping into the walls.__

 _ _Soon, everything around me was a dark and unforgiving black. Acrid smoke began to pour from the walls and consume to air around me, making it hard to breathe and flakes of ash fell from above. I flew up the stairs finding the disease had not quite reached the bright white door to my old bedroom yet, but the smoke poured at my tail, swarming around me teasingly. Inching closer and closer for my door, daring me to try anything.__

 _ _There was no time left to think, this was my last and final chance.__

 _ _I dived for my door, but as I leapt it shot from my reach. Fading farther and farther away from me into the arms of dark, menacing cloud of ash.__

 _ _I was too late.__

 _ _Smoke now poured in endless bound around me. Engulfing my in acrid clouds of thick grey poison. Everything around me was black. The air around me was plagued with the memory of that day. Pouring down on me, dusting me in a cloak of grey were the flakes of fallen ash, which still floated like a sinister snowfall from the ceiling.__

 _ _Everything around me was black, ashen, burnt. Touched by me.__

 _ _I crumbled down within myself onto the scorching floor beneath me as I felt the end coming quickly. I knew what was going to happen within seconds.__

 _ _I felt my entire existence blow up in a violent explosion from a distance.__

 _ _This time taking me with it.__

* * *

I awoke screaming, fighting for my life under the sheets until I felt a warm pair of calming hands lightly clasp my upper arms, soothing me.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, you're safe" Darcy whispered through the darkness, gently rubbing my arms, perched on the side of my bed next to me, "You're here with me, it's okay"

My beating heart gradually began to slow, my breaths evening out and I began to sit up in my bed, my head swaying, and propped my back against the wall. My breaths still heavy, in fearful and shaken sighs, and my body quaked as I drew my legs into myself, fighting for balance and clarity. My alarm clock read 05:55 AM. I had slept most of the night, though we would have to be up soon. My eyes flickered up to Darcy sat by me, still gently shhing me into peace, I smiled weakly at her.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked, her dark brown eyes shining in the moonlight.

I shook my head.

"Do you want to take a walk?"

Darcy looked out into the dark winter night revealed by the small gap in the curtain. I thought about it. Darcy knew me much too well. I must have at one point told her that walking under the blanket of night calmed me, despite knowing it was dangerous in the outskirts of a city such as London.

"Yeah" I said, my voice only just quietly breaking through the night, soft and shaky.

* * *

We strolled slowly down the empty streets illuminated only by the light of the street-lights and the lonely Moon and stars hanging in the night sky. Having quickly changed, we had gotten ready as if for school, knowing we wouldn't be going back to sleep that night, though doing so without turning on the harsh lights of reality which would shatter the quiet, lucid calm of the night

When I looked up into the bright, full Moon I was reminded of the night of the party, standing alone in the streets under the light of the moon after I had run off. It was a full Moon that night as well, it had been some time since then. __And so much had changed...__

We walked easily in silence until we reached the memorial park. The trees swayed gently in the cold breeze, autumn fading early into winter in the late November night, and the grass glistened with the light of starshine in the rays of the moon with the morning frost. Beautifully preserved under a layer of delicate, silver ice. We entered the park through the gates, our feel crunching over the frosted grass, and were soon covered by the rustling umbrella of leaves. Buried in the corner of the walled park. Shrouding us slightly from sight and the shadow of the branches above dancing on the ground, beams of light shining softly through the space between the leaves. Then, Darcy spoke.

"All of this. It comes back to that night, doesn't it?"

"No" I protest, but the look of exasperation she gives me forces my acquiescence, "Yes..." my shoulders slump as I finally give in. Darcy gives me a look of appraisal, as if she's deciding what to say to me next.

"Look, I know something happened that night. Something big that you're not telling me." she sighs, "What I don't get is why. You know you can tell me anything and it kind of hurts me that you don't trust me enough with this"

Pain is written in the sparkling dark of her eyes as she looks at me, full of questions and hurt, and my chest binds in inner conflict and turmoil.

"It's not that I don't trust you. I do" I tell her.

"Then what's the problem? What so big that you can't tell me?"

And now I know that I can't withhold the truth any longer. The time to tell her the truth of all that had happened that night had finally arrived. A part of me rejoiced at the prospect of telling her, relieving me of my guilt and fright and regret. Of having someone listen and understand everything I say. All that's been building up inside of me, undeterred by whether she'll believe me or not. But the rest of me is filled with apprehension, anxiety and worry. I don't even know where to start, let alone how to explain. _ _And if she doesn't believe me...__

I guess I was just going to have to take a leap of faith, and trust that she will.

I drew in my unsteady breath and prepared myself to begin the story from the moment I ran off that night at the party, leaving her. Hoping I would know how to explain, how to word it so she would understand. When I was interrupted by a terrible, unearthly screech, filling the air, rising from the east wall at the side of the park where we stood. A startled and frightened look must of stretched across my face as Darcy asked, concern filling her gaze:

"What is it?"

I looked at her, confused.

"Do you not hear that" I ask her, shouting to vise above the sound. Worry edged my voice as I looked frantically around for the source of the dreadful wail.

"Hear what?" Darcy tried to mirror my actions hoping to see or hear what I was looking for. The sound grew louder, closer, ear-piercing. I fought the urge to cover my ears as it grew louder still and I thought my ears would begin to bleed. Darcy looked at me in confusion, no idea of the sound and what was causing me to react so.

And then I saw it.

A colossal black form towering behind her. All smoke, dust and shadow. Ripping the nights calm in a terrible apparition, haunting the air behind my friend. My eyes widened with terror as I beheld the beast. Heart racing with fear, lungs filling with it, stealing my speech. Any kind of warning lost to wind, constricted in my lungs.

I was too late.  
It came too fast for me to even process it.

A fluid, dark arm stabbing right through Darcy's core, ripping her open, blood blossoming on her shirt and dripping from the ghostly apparition. Shock set into her features, holding her in its paralysing grip as she looked down in slow motion, to see the awful gap within her, leaking her very essence of life.

Her face contorted with pain, her legs crumbled beneath her and she fell. The frozen winter grass forming a bed beneath her lifeless form.  
Blood began to pool around her, pouring profusely from the aching wound. Stunned, trapped in the grip of fear, shock and pure terror, I stared on. Falling to the ground beside her, my eyes wide, my hands dancing above the wound, I was deep in the grips of shock. Still disbelieving, unknowing of what to do.

My hands shook and my body quaked with the waking nightmare that was before me. And the deathly demon that was above me.


	13. Fire and Ice

CHAPTER XIII

 _Fire and Ice_

* * *

My heart pounded hard against my chest as the shadowed form lingered malevolently above me. My entire world was spinning out of control, whirling through the events of the night like a video tape on rewind. And Darcy. _Darcy._ She was bleeding out on the ground before me, unmoving, barely even breathing. Her blood was on my hands. With every pulse my heart took I wished for hers to, with every breath I took I willed her to breath in deeply and feel the night's cool air fill her lungs. Tears dripped silently from my widened eyes as she lay motionless on the ground, a gaping hole in her chest. And with every ounce of my being I wished for that to be me on the ground, bleeding through, dying. Instead of her. She didn't deserve this. I did. She had done everything for me, stayed with me, comforted me. And I couldn't lose her now. I needed her. Need her. She can't die because of me. And then the guilt flooded through me, seeping into the grief and fear pulsing through my veins. All of this. Everything that had happened. It was my fault. Darcy wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. The demon. It wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for me. My fault. _My fault._

As my thoughts wandered to this point, my head raised tentatively upwards to glare fearfully at the dark form above. Whom I could swear had a gleeful smile contorting his oily, shadowed face. I was too scared and shocked for any anger to enter my body. None. I was helpless and defenceless on the ground below this demon, with my best friend dying before me. There was nothing I could do. But the demon, the demon still floated there. Surely it would have fled by know, it had done its dreadful deed. Either that or he had lingered here to finish the job by killing me next, after delighting in his actions. But yet he stayed, doing nothing as I watched, hands quaking and shaking above Darcy. And then, he spoke. A awful, simpering wail that struck through my eardrums straight into my core that sounded like something of a sneering, terrible laugh.

"Mjh he imwl oepg zgnligd? Ejl ez Hlhhg..."

His prophetic words seeped like poison into my mind sounding strange and deformed like a language like my own, corrupted. The language turned over in my mind, twisting, shifting until his words echoed through my mind behind my eyes, calling to me in an awful whisper.  
 _Want to save your friend? One of terror..._

"What would you know about friendship demon!?" I shouted hoarsely at him distraught, my voice breaking as I choked through the tears. His smoke, oily form shifted closer to me into a ray of filtered moonlight so I could see dark flames of fire burning through empty eye sockets. I didn't flinch. But stared him boldly down.

"The girl has fire... he will like that" he replied in a speculating tone of his wailing, screeching voice as he hovered above me, oil horribly dripping, oozing but strangely not falling from his form. _He... who is he talking about? And what did he call me?_ I didn't have time to think about that now. I tore my gaze from his to stare down at my dying friend, unconscious on the grass before me.

"Oh! _What can I do!?_ " I howled, not caring if I had said the words aloud or how they would break through the silent night. Desperate, I ripped through the hem on the sleeve of my jacket. With the makeshift bandage, I set about lifting the lifeless body of Darcy as I bound the wound in her chest tightly in the tourniquet, hoping against hope to stem the endless flow of blood. But I watched in horror as the dark liquid blossomed and spread through the dark grey of my jacket, fresh tears flew anew from my eyes as I watched. I heard another simpering cackle from above and felt pure wrath flow through me, I looked up with narrowed eyes through the tears but it wasn't enough to overcome my quaking fear and dread. And worst of all, the guilt.

"You know what to do, fearful one..." he sneered.

My narrowed eyes loosened into a furrowed expression of confusion. _What was this demon talking about?_

"What do you know demon!?" I screamed, choked, overcome with emotion thickened in my voice.

"As the blue dawn rises on the crowning year of the stolen child, the blood of fear will rise and reveal itself in her. And the battle to reclaim the one of terror will begin"

His word echoed into the chill of the night, poison carrying through the tolling silence and into my veins. An ice like cold shot through my blood, stabbing under my skin like knives and the pain bit into me in a cold that beats with my heart as I felt my body frost over. A chill ran through me and I shivered inwardly, refusing to allow any sign of his affect on me to show. But at his words the demon shifted, shadows and smoke moving with the acrid slick of oil in the night. I blinked and the smoky apparition whirled off into the air, blending into the shadows given by the walls and the trees, into the darkness slowly lightening with the coming dawn. And I was alone. Alone with the dying form of my best friend in front of me, with the icy cold seeping through my veins, and my fear. Alone in a frosty, moonlight enclosed glade of a park where morning walkers would soon be filing through, happy in their ignorant bliss of mundane life. I was suddenly envious, envious and angry that my life had been so turned and corrupted. Envious that they could be so carefree and blissful. And angry that despite everything I had done, how I had turned from the life that had called to me. How I had turned from the life I had always dreamed of and lived on, embracing the mundane life I had always feared, accepting the future that lay before me and ignoring the scar of that life, sketched in the form of an iratze on my arm that would forever be with me. My brief spell of anger deflated slowly into a heavy sorrow. How could I have been so blind to think it would be that easy? How could I have ever imagined my life would continue as normal, as if nothing had happened? How had I not seen it before? A part of me always knew the shadows would return, but in my stupidity I had willfully pushed it aside and carried on, ignoring the signs at every corner. And when it had finally happened I was all but helpless to stop it, only able to watch as the ones I love paid the price of my ignorance, my stupidity. Cold tears rolled down my ashen face flushed with cold. Darcy lay still unconscious on the ground, barely breathing, lying dying with a now fully darkened piece of cloth binding her chest, crushing the thin layer of frost covering the grass. Despite my sordid attempt at first aid, she wasn't getting any better. Nothing consumed my thoughts more than her in that moment. Anger, envy, even fear fled and the guilt spread like fire through my mind. Repeating the mantra of my guilt through my thoughts. I was awake, I was fine, untouched and my best friend was dying, _dying_. She didn't deserve this, _I did_. She shouldn't be the one dying, _I should_. The guilt raged through me. Why, _why_ was I so stupid, so _blind_? I just _stood_ there, I watched as the demon cut through her. I should have _done_ something, I should have pushed her out of the way! I should have stopped the demon, I should have sacrificed myself. I should have done something, done anything to stop this! And I didn't care what I cost me to do it. But whatever happened to me didn't matter now. The only thing that mattered was her. There was nothing else I could do, I was going back to the Institute.


	14. We Will Endure

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while, I couldn't decide how this chapter was going to go for a while time. But -thanks to insomnia- last night I figured it out and I've been writing all morning. Hope you enjoy :)**

CHAPTER XIV

 _We Will Endure_

* * *

Time is not on my side. I don't have time to think, to dawdle. Only to act, to do something. But the endless possibilities were swarming my mind, distracting my attention. The demon's words were echoing through my head.  
 _You know what to do..._

What was that supposed to mean? Was there something I could do to help her, to stop this? But I don't have time to question that know, the Sun above is slowly rising and soon we will not be hidden by night's shadow. All will see what has happened, there will be questions, police, I need to go, to leave now. But how? The institute is a while away and I can't carry Darcy all the way there. I'm barely able to lift her at all, we'd never make it in time. Then it struck me.  
Her car. Darcy drove to mine last night, her car was sitting in my drive. If I can just get her back to the house, I can grab her keys and drive there. I can find my way. Thank God my Dad had taught me on my last visit there. With the plan set, I sprung to action. I hauled Darcy up gingerly. Wincing as she groaned and the grey strip binding her chest darkened still. But a part of me rejoiced at the sound, it meant she was alive, I can still save her.

"We can do this Darcy, come one. _You're not dying on me!"_ I grunted through my teeth, hoisting her arm around my shoulders and beginning to move as fast as I could back to mine. For the first time I was thankful that my mother had moved us closer into the city after... certain events last year. It meant my house wasn't so far away. It meant we could have the edge, that small advantage that could save her. Time, more time.

I was running on pure adrenaline. Coursing through my veins, supporting myself, keeping my rapid emotions at bay so I could help her, save her. All I felt was my heart pounding, and the cold digging at my skin. But none of that mattered, only her. Soon enough we were back at my house. First, I dug into Darcy's pocket's to relieve her of her keys. I opened the car and laid her carefully on the back seat. Closing the door and ran back to the house, unlocking the door, I flew inside, grabbing the essentials. A change of clothes, Darcy's things. My Codex. Anything that could help me now. Books, phone. Deodorant. Anything and everything I needed. Not that I had much of anything sentimental left. Because I knew, through my soul I knew. That I wouldn't be coming back, not for a while at least. I need to finish this. End this. This all was my fault, wanting this life. If I hadn't turned my back on the truth, Darcy would never had been hurt. If she died I couldn't live with myself. She deserves better, and I don't deserve this life. No, I need to find out who I am, what I am. I need to find out what hurt Darcy, why all of this has happened. And I need to end it.

And if it cost my life, so be it.

Casting a look that rung with finality over my room, I ran to the door, hastily locking it behind me and stuffing the keys in my pocket. Getting to the driver's side, I all but threw the bags over to the passenger's side and burst the car into action. Luckily for me, the roads at this time were clear and free of patrolling police officer's to pull me over for speeding. I put my foot on it and sped the whole way there, narrowly avoiding curbs and corners. Suddenly, in my peripheral vision, my eyes caught the sign that read Fleet Street and the surroundings suddenly seemed all too familiar. I spun the wheel, tyres screeching in protest as it turned (Darcy would kill me later but I didn't care, not if it meant she lived) and flew down the street. I slammed the car into park as I saw the familiar ruin of a church, looking back, Darcy was still motionless over the back seat, luckily not jostled too much by my reckless driving. Jumping out of the car, in a split second of focusing on the sight it transformed, morphed into the grand sight of the London Institute. Turns out it didn't take much. And I was desperate. More carefully now, heart thrumming in my chest, I lifted Darcy from the care. Pulling her once again over my shoulders and heaving her with all my might to the door. The steps were difficult to manoeuvre with her by my side, dead weight. _Dead..._

No, not now.

When I finally made it to the front door. I slammed my hand repeatedly on the hard wood., not caring to notice that I would probably have bruises there tomorrow. But after slamming and shouting, nothing. I didn't have time to be polite, to be the good girl and wait for the door to be opened. No, I don't have time for that, so with all the strength I had left. I pushed the heavy wood door open, hearing it groan as it slowly swung inwards, omitting me, us access inside. I smiled breathlessly in relief as I fell inside. I had been pushing all of my weight and the added weight of Darcy onto the door in order to open it, so it was no surprise when I collapsed onto the the floor inside the Institute, half leaning on the moving door, half supporting Darcy.

"Help! Help, please!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, voice hoarse from crying and shouting. Somehow, I managed to haul myself back to my feet, using the door as a prop but never taking my eyes from Darcy as I pulled her upwards once more. Teeth grinding as I used everything I had to haul her up.

The thud of running footsteps were music to my ears and -as Darcy was once again, over my shoulder- I glanced up in relief to see Julian, eyes wild and hair ruffled from sleep, still in his pyjamas at the entrance to the left wing, at the top of the stairs as they veered left.

"November? How did you-" he questioned, voice laden with confusion and sleep as his eyebrows knitted and he pointed in the direction of the door behind me.

"Julian" I breathed, "Please, help- help her. She's-" I stumbled forwards, hearing the door groan shut behind me, but it was all catching up to me, the lack of sleep, the shock, the adrenaline was waning and I fell to my knees. My eyelids were flickering as I saw Julian run down the stairs to me, taking Darcy's weight from my shoulders as I fell forwards, only just having the thought and strength to throw my hands before me to support my weight.

"She's what? What happened? _Talk to me November!"_ alarm was now spiking through his usually calm tone now as -in one swift movement- he carefully lay Darcy to the ground and moved over to me.

"No- no-" I coughed, only just having the strength to lift one hand from the ground to wave his away from me, "Don't- don't waste your time with me. Help- help her. She's more important, I- I'm fine"

"No, You're-" he began to protest, casting a worried glance down to where Darcy lay, but was interrupted by another voice, calling from the stairs.

" _What, in the name of Raziel, is going on here!?"_ called a familiarly pissed and agitated voice. I looked upwards to see Emma, hair free and flying behind, coming down the stairs. I looked long enough to see her make her way to where we were and kneel by Darcy's motionless form, but not long enough to see the tall, graceful figure emerge from behind her. Until a contrastingly calm voice called.

"Emma, is that any way to speak now. It is clear that something terrible has happened this night" the voice -though calm- was laced with concern as it moved closer to where I was collapsed, breathing heavily on the floor. I felt the figure kneel down beside me, and a soft, gentle hand rest on my bare arm, the one which I had ripped the sleeve off of, "Now, child, tell me. What has happened here?"

I felt a calm, healing pulse run through me, overtaking the cold that was still running through my veins, and my breathing levelled out. With shaking arms, moved backwards to sit on my knees and look up at the figure beside me. It was a woman, though I knew that from her voice, with long, thick brown hair tied loosely in a braid over her shoulder, and kind, grey eyes, filled with concern as they met my startled ones. I watched her inhale sharply as she met my eyes, and doubt and sadness flicker briefly in her eyes, before concern overtook once more. I was moved, touched by her concern for a perfect stranger. She gave me strength, the strength I needed right now. And I was able to speak.

"It's not me, it's her. She's hurt, mortally injured. By a- it was a demon that did it. She's my best friend, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have been there" I sobbed, feeling tears form in my eyes, "Please... please help her. _Save_ her" I managed to choke before my emotions caught up with me. I watched the stranger's eyes set, jaw firm with a slight nod as if she had decided something right then and there. As if I had passed some kind of test.

"Come child" she said, rising to her feet and offering a hand to me. I took it and gingering rose to my feet also, muscles groaning my protest, "We must not fall apart when those we love need us most, we are women and we must endure. I know what you are feeling, for I have felt it too and know how easy it is to fall, to break apart when the worst happens. But heroes endure because we need them, when they are needed. Never for their own sakes, and your friend needs you now. And you will endure now, because of her" she nodded once more to me and her eyes spoke of her truth. Somehow, some way, she felt familiar to me, like I had met her before but I knew I hadn't.

"Who... who are you?" I breathed, looking in wonder up at her as she smiled weakly at me.

"I am Theresa Gray" she replied, and suddenly I remembered. She was briefly in City of Heavenly Fire and I knew that she was in the Clockwork series, but those I hadn't read just yet. For one reason or another, I hadn't got around to it. But it still didn't quite explain my reaction to her. How I somehow recognised her and -on some level- had a brief feeling of... home, "Now, come with me. We will go to infirmary" she placed her hand on my arm once more and began to guide me thus, whilst turning her head to where Julian stood, dumbstruck, with Emma beside, frowning over Darcy, "You two will conduct..."

"Darcy"

"Conduct Darcy there and we will see what can be done to heal her. Have you any idea what kind of demon it was?"

"No... how could I? It was only the second demon I have ever seen"

"Only the second demon? My, what kind of Shadowhunter your age has only seen two demons?"

"I- I'm not"

"She's not a Shadowhunter Tessa" Emma chimed in.

"Is that so... well that explains a lot. But then, how could you have opened that door if you weren't?" Tessa asked with a tone of surety that implied that she knew something that I didn't.


	15. Questions and Answers

CHAPTER XV

 _Questions and Answers_

* * *

I didn't take my eyes off of Darcy until we reached the infirmary and she was laid gently down onto a bed of fresh, clean sheets. I knew inquisitive eyes and curious glances were constantly being thrown my way, but I chose to pretend that I hadn't seen them and focused still on Darcy. I knew I was only putting off the inevitable, that at some point I would have to explain what had happened, it would be the only way Darcy could be saved. But, for now, I was quiet. Silent tears threatened to break through my eyes as Julian began to gingerly peel my make-shift tourniquet from around Darcy's chest and I winced as the damage was revealed, my horror reflected in the gasps and widened eyes of all those around as her wound was on display.

"Well" Julian breathed, wide-eyed, "You're temporary binding of the wound seems to have done some good, it at least stemmed the bleeding somewhat" he met my eyes with an expression of pity and remorse, I nodded in reply.

"What did this to her?" Theresa gasped, moving to stand beside Julian.

It was, then, that I knew I could avoid explanation no further, as the kind woman looked up with concerned eyes at me, and I braced myself for the tale. But, to my surprise, I was interrupted, by Emma.

"That can wait" she affirmed, standing beside me on the opposite side of the bed to Julian and Theresa, "Right now, we need to bind her wound properly and, by the looks of things, call on a Silent Brother"

"We don't need one" a new voice called from the entrance to the room. All heads turned to the doorway to see a tall, slight man with one striking silver streak shining through dark brown locks. Striking was definitely a word to be used to describe him, among others. Julian's, Emma's faces took an expression of relief, but Theresa's...Theresa's took a look of absolute and undying love, a look which would melt the heart of the coldest woman or man. And he returned it ten fold, which made me -for a moment- wonder whether these two were responsible alone for the melting of the ice caps. He began to walk over with an old timely grace and soon his curious eyes came to rest upon me, for a moment, like Theresa, he faltered in his steps as he our eyes met. I wondered, not for the first time that morning, whether my distress and anxiety was that obvious in my eyes. I tore my gaze from his to look back down at Darcy, wound now wholly on display for all, and my lungs seized and heart shattered once again. _My fault..._

" _Jem"_ Theresa sighed, as the man -Jem- came to stand at her side, pulling her into a hug.

" _Tessa"_ he replied, slowly (reluctantly) releasing her, "What goes on here?"

"I do not know the whole story myself" she flashed a look at me, which I pretended not to notice, "But from what I gather, there is something strange afoot"

"Yes... I believe you are right" Jem cast a worried glance down at Darcy, "This is the work of a powerful demon. To heal it properly, we need to know what demon did it and for that, we need the whole story"

I closed my eyes, wincing. He's right. I knew that, but... the whole situation was worse enough stored in my head, plaguing my thoughts. _When they knew..._

"Yes, yes" Emma exclaimed impatiently, "But, in the mean time, Tessa can you do something?"

Tessa gave Emma a look of warning but obliged.

"Yes. I can slow the wound's affects until we know what we can do, I learnt many things over the years of healing spells. I could try to heal her wholly, but if there is powerful demonic presence there, it could backfire; cause more damage than healing. It is safer to wait until we know what we are dealing with. But this spell, it will work" her face was set, eyes firm as her hands moved over Darcy's body, coming to rest above the wound. I was transfixed as her hand began to glow an orchid white and translucent, flowing chords seemed to seep from her hands to wrap around Darcy in a chrysalis of glowing white with flecks of pink and green. Then, all at once, it was over, the glow faded and the room was dull once more. _Magic..._

"Child, what is your name?" Jem's voice broke through my wide-eyed fixation caused by Tessa's display of magic, walking around the bed to stand before me.

"N-November. November Highriver" I stuttered, still held captive by my first sighting of real magic.

"November, you act as if this is your first time witnessing a warlock's magic"

"Well, it is" I reply, surprised, "I'm not- I'm not a Shadowhunter"

"Yes, that much is clear. But Tessa's right, there is something strange here. Something different. I spent a long time as a Silent Brother, and in that time I learnt much of demons and demonic presence. I sense some demonic presence in you now, and something else. I would wish to know more of you, but now is not the time for that, you are fatigued and distressed. But I understand that if you do not wish to rest. This girl. She is like _parabatai_ to you and I know that" Jem's voice caught, eyes flashed with pain, "You will not, cannot rest until something is done. So I suggest you go to the library. Emma, Julian" he moved his gaze from where it was fixed on my stunned and beaten face to look over at the two in question, "Go with her, help her discern the morning's events. I will stay here with Tessa and keep watch on the girl for now, we will join you anon. Go, November, she is in good hands"

And with a nod, he turned from me to walk back to where Tessa stood.

"Right" Emma chimed in, beginning to walk towards the door. Julian flashed her a look that said _'be careful'_ before stopping before me.

"Come on, let's go" he smiled weakly at me as I -once again-nodded in reply. I took a deep, unsteady breath and placed a mask of bravery over my face, preparing for what was surly awaiting in the library. For the first time, I was actually dreading a visit to one of the most beautiful libraries I have ever seen and I was actually dreading reading. For I knew that, whatever the pages of words would reveal about this day, these events, myself, would not be good. With echoing footsteps, we began to walk from the infirmary and into the vast, hallowed halls of the Institute.


	16. Mundanes

**A/N: Sorry it's such a short chapter today, we're going out at 10 so I didn't have long to write before we have to leave. Hope you enjoy anyway!**

CHAPTER XVI

 _Mundanes_

* * *

Just as the last time I was traversing this halls, I soon lost track of the twists and turns and left corners and right corners, but before long, we were in the library. The exquisite site did not fail to momentarily transfix me again, and it did a good job of somewhat calming my fray nerves, finishing the job Tessa had started. I had to believe that Darcy would endure, would survive so that I could do all I could to ensure that. I had to trust in them. Well, maybe I was on my way to believing in them, but trust? That was going to take a fair bit longer. But it was a start. Absorbing my surrounding, I pulled a chair from the table and collapsed into it, one leg propped and curled beneath me (I never was one to sit normally in a chair). Julian came to stand in front of the end of the table diagonally from me, and dropped him arms to rest on the table top so it was supporting him. He was still in his pyjamas and looked somewhat rough, like he hadn't had much sleep and I was prepared to just put that down to his rude awakening (courtesy of me) but he looked... well, like me. Not as bad by far, but, on his way. Something was definitely bothering him, unfortunately, it wasn't my place to ask. Emma was pacing the floor before the table, also still in her pyjamas -if you call leggings and a tank top pyjamas- with a determined look on her face. Then she stopped her pacing, and fixed me with her determined eyes.

"Look, I'm not going to ask for a full and detailed account of what happened today since it's clearly too hard to say, don't think I didn't notice the way you were dodging all the looks and questions earlier, and quite frankly, we don't have the time and neither do I want a crying mundane girl on my hands" she said, ever the charmer, and then resumed her pacing, this time coming to stop before a bookshelf behind the table.

"But is she a mundane though? We learnt from a first meeting that she can bear marks, that's not your average mundane" Julian added speculatively.

"Some mundanes can bear small marks like that, you know that. We can't assume she's another Clary Fray just because survived a stupid _iratze_ rune"

"But should we assume she isn't either?"

"Erm... guys. I'm right here, you know" I interrupted.

"Yes, yes. We're well aware _imp"_ she spat back. _That's the second time she's called me that, why?_ I decided to ignore it as she crouched down before the bookcase, running her hands over the spines, searching for something, "Now, we need to find out what this demon was, if we have any hope of healing your friend back there" she straightened, leaned back and threw a book down at the table which slammed onto the surface and slide before me, "Here's a codex"

"Oh" I unintelligibly replied, taking the copy in my hands. It was old, hard backed and gorgeous though we obvious signs of use. It looked vastly different from, "It's different from mine"

" _You_ have a codex!?" Emma exclaimed with a tone of sarcasm and disbelief, flashing me a look.

"Anyone can buy them" I shrugged.

"Right, of course" she replied earnestly, seeming to remember something.

"Yeah" I couldn't help myself, "How is that?"

"Well" she began, stretching to a book to high up for her to reach, "The Clave saw it as a way to awaken mundanes to even the possibility of demonic presence, teach them a bit of our history, open their minds, even teach them a bit of ways to protect themselves" she finished, stopping her stretching for a moment which Julian took to walk around the table and retrieve the book she was reaching for, for her, using his superior height. She didn't seem to overly appreciate the help.

"So, are all the events in the books true?"

"More or less" she shrugged nonchalantly, "Now read"

I dropped the subject and opened the cover to the front page (no, it wasn't like in the films where the main character opened the book at a random page which just so happened to contain the exact information they were looking for) and skimmed the index, searching for the page number that contained the information on the types of demon. Finding it, with a huff I flipped to that section and began reading the page titled _Demonology._

 _This is going to be a long day..._

But, with Darcy's image behind my eyes, I started to scroll through the page.


	17. A Tale of Two

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, school and blocks and all, you know :)**

CHAPTER XVII

 _A Tale of Two_

* * *

"Anything?"

A sudden male voice broke through the silence that filled the library, bar the lone sound of pages being turned.

"No" I sighed, turning yet another page. I had no idea how much time had passed since we had started the search and, of course, we were getting no where. Julian and Emma didn't even know what they were looking for and I was none the wiser, there in lies the problem. Until I figure out what happened, we were completely and utterly stuck. Judging by the Sun, we had been sat here at least an hour. I was impressed by the extensiveness of the book I was currently skipping through, apparently -though unsurprisingly- actual Shadowhunter codex's were significantly more detailed than the ones they sell in W. . Though that didn't change the fact that it was still no help, so far at least. "I mean how hard can it be? How many demons are there anyway?" I threw my head down in defeat onto the open pages of the book.

"Well if you care to remember that an entire race was created to defend you mundanes in an eternal battle against the entire demon race and we've been doing so for the past thousand years, I'm gonna say a lot" Emma sneered sarcastically.

"It was a rhetorical question, Einstein" I bit back, the stress and sleep deprivation finally taking its toll.

"A what?" she scoffed.

"A rhetorical question"

"Yeah?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Seriously? They teach you Shadowhunters a million different methods of a beheading but not the meaning of a rhetorical question?"

"Funnily enough, we've had better things to worry about like, I don't know, keeping the universe from plunging into the deprave dominion of demon rule"

"Enough!" Julian shouted, shutting the cover of the book he was reading with a echoing slam, "We're not going to get anywhere like this. November, I know you're stressed and frustrated but the demon that did that to Darcy is going to be in there somewhere, you just need to be patient" he looked over at me with a calm, though slightly disgruntled, and somewhat pitiful expression, shifting his tone from a shout to a more gentle chiding like he was afraid if he shouted at me I would break (in any other circumstance, I would roll my eyes about this point) then moved his gaze over to Emma, "And Emma, just... stop being yourself for a little while at least" he sighed and Emma actually _did_ roll her eyes.

"Every second I spend in here flicking through this damn book is one more second that Darcy's life is in danger. I can't just sit here and _let that happen_. This is _my fault_!"

"Blaming yourself is going to solve nothing, November" Julian's eyes tried to catch mine, "The best thing you can do for her is _find out what did this to her"_

I sigh, finally meeting his gaze.

"You're right. I'm just not getting _anywhere_ with this"

Julian stood up from his chair with a groan of old woodwork and walked over to stand behind the chair I was occupying. I looked back down, suddenly focusing intently on the book again. He places a hand on the back of my chair, leaning over to inspect the book I was studying.

"Well" he sighed, "what do you remember about the demon?"

I said nothing, my heartbeat in my ears.

"I know that, for whatever reason, you don't want to talk about it. But you were the only one there who is capable of telling us anything that could help us now"

My hand tightened its grip around the seat of the chair. Knuckles white. The words in the book before me nothing but a collection of lines connected together on a page.

" _November._ Talk to me. What are you hiding?"

"It spoke to me" I blurted out suddenly.

Julian's body jerked back at the sound of my voice like he hadn't expected it.

"The demon?" he asked.

I nodded.

"That's not so unusual" Emma interjected from across the table with a shrug.

I had to take her word for it. Julian stood still.

"What did it say?" his voice was soft, he looked down again at me. I met his gaze momentarily before it was drawn off to the far corner of the room as I was taken back to earlier that morning. The corrupted, contorted sound like poison seeping into my brain. Sounds and lines twisting and curling in around eachother in my mind. The harsh, brusque slur of the voice. Hisses, vowels and consonants.

" _Want to save your friend, one of terror?"_

I didn't realised I had spoken the words aloud until my gaze refocused on Julian's ghostly expression. He was as white as a sheet.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

Nothing.

"What? What is it?" I whip my head around to behold Emma, her jaw was set with an expression similar to Julian's on her face.

" _God._ Will somebody say _something?_! Why are you looking at me like I just spoke _parseltongue?_ "

I though at least that would evoke some ignorant sneer from Emma. I had used the Harry Potter reference without thinking and surely it would have usually provoked a response from her along the lines of _"can't you even speak like a normal person, mundane?"_ but it had fallen on dead ears.

"Julian?" I glance back upwards to see that he still hadn't moved. His face was shocked, pale and... scared? _What on Earth has got_ him _afraid? I haven't suddenly sprouted horns have I?_

After a moment, he gulped and then -finally- he spoke. His voice was low and gruff.

"November. What you just said. That wasn't English"

I furrowed my brows. _It wasn't?_ Sure, I had taken G.C.S.E. French but I was far from fluent. Miles from subconsciously slipping into the language in normal conversation.

"It wasn't any language"

Okay, now I'm freaked out. _What the Hell is he talking about?_

"It was a demon language"

 _Shit._

* * *

"H-how?" I stammered, feeling my blood run cold once more.

"That is an excellent question" a new voice ringing from the entrance of the room snapped the room out of its trance. I heard footsteps make their way over to the table. I slowly drew myself from my shock to look over. It was Tessa. She had taken the time to change from her pyjamas into casual clothes and it looked like she had re-done braid too, her hair hung over her shoulder in a long, neat plait of thick brown hair.

"Julian. Emma" she nodded in their direction, "Take this time and go and change out of those pyjamas. This is going to be a long day and it would be for the best that you be dressed appropriately for it. November and I will continue this alone"

Emma exited the room almost immediately with a firm nod towards Tessa, Julian seemed more reluctant, hesitating under Tessa's fixed stare before following in Emma's footsteps.

And then we were alone.

I shifted in my chair so I was sitting on it sideways, with one knee drawn up to prop in from of me. I dropped my head upon it.

Voices swarmed inside my mind. My own. Darcy's. Emma's. Julian's. Tessa's. The demon. The morning already felt like it had been an eternity. Yesterday felt years away. Last night's nightmare, weeks. Nightmares were the least of her problems now.

In my peripheral vision I saw the Tessa's shadow move towards the bookshelves beside the window seat, the one that I myself had been perusing all those weeks ago, the day after Halloween. My birthday.

The harsh rays of Sunlight beam brightly through the stained glass of the window. Shedding light of the minuscule flecks of dust floating, it seemed, in a wave of their own in the space that the shadows didn't reach. When I was younger, I used to think those tiny specks that danced in the light were fairy dust.

Something catches Tessa's eye and she looks down suddenly, curiously. A smile of unexpected joy stretches across her profile as she reaches down to recover something from the floor. The book I had dropped that time before and completely forgotten.

"Oh, my-" I stammer in apology, "I'm sorry, I dropped that accidentally and just left it there. I shouldn't have been so careless with objects that aren't my own, I'm sorry..."

I marked her expression curiously. She was smiling down with a countenance of fondness and nostalgia at the ancient copy. But deep in her translucent grey eyes I could see old pain and sorrow swimming, resurfacing after years of floating at the sea bed.

"No, it's quite alright" Tessa uttered softly, almost speaking to the book itself.

She seemed to be lost in another time, seeing the ghosts and touch of a distant past unknown to me.

She remained like this for minutes stretching through the peaceful silence of reminiscence. With each second of the beautiful silence that ticked past my curiosity grew, gradually growing stronger and braver than the cautious and anxious feeling writhing in my stomach, urging me to speak,

"...A Tale of Two Cities..." I muttered quietly, my voice just easing through the gentle silence, leaving it unbroken, afraid to startle Tessa. I know how lost you can become in your own world and all about how harsh the shock of reality could be as you're awoken to it, "A favourite..?"

"Yes" she breathed, full of raw emotion, "This book was- is, mine"

She smiled and hugged the book tenderly to her chest, reaching out for the touch of a ghost. Embarrassment and guilt flooded through my body, filling my cheeks at the shame of reading something so personal and precious to her.

"Oh, I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, no. It's quite alright" she kindly brushes off my renewal of apologies yet again with a smile, "You couldn't have known"

Despite her words, shame still hotly branded my cheeks, no doubt turning them a telling hue of bright red. I was about to apologise once more when Tessa continued,

"Have you read it?" she asked, "A Tale of Two Cities?"

"Yes- No" I reply, "No, I never finished it..." my brow furrows as I try to recall why I never came to finish the book. It wasn't like me to abandon a book and I loved the story, the characters... so why? My eyes squint in confusion, "But I loved, adored it. I don't know why I never finished..." my voice trails off, reaching through my scattered memories for an explanation.

"Well..." Tessa's voice interrupts my fruitless attempt at recollection, "Here"

She extends her arm to reach to where I am sat, sideways at the table with the book in her hand, offering the beautiful copy to me.

I'm speechless, astounded.

"No. No" my words come out raw with shock and disbelief, "I couldn't possibly!"

 _Is she serious? Is she mad?_

"Please"

She closes the gap between us, takes my hand shaking in refusal and places the book in it. I stare up at her in amazement.

"But-" I stammer for the words, "This clearly means so much to you... how could you just, _give it_ to me?"

She smiles warmly.

"Because I know you'll treat it well. I recognise the loving look in your eyes and just by the way you hold that book, know that you will treasure it and keep it safe. And the things I cherish most from the past always have a way of finding their way back to me"

Her calm, grey eyes fill over with love and adoration, staring into the face of someone dear her in her memory. Who, I knew not.

"I'll make sure it will" I say, my voice still airy and soft with disbelief but ringing with determination, "You have to hold closely to the things that you hold most dear..."

Sadly, my memory does not fail me now and pain begins to creep back into my eyes at its resurfacing. Tessa glances curiously down at me but I move my gaze to the precious book now sitting in my lap, cradled in my arm. I brush my free hand gently, fondly over the ageing copy then hug it close to my chest. I won't let this slip through my fingers. What Tessa had unconsciously done in her kindness, is give what is clearly one of her most cherished items to a girl that loses, breaks and burns everything she loves.

" _Not this time"_

I breathe the words, uttering the promise to myself. _Never again._

Tessa seems to check herself, snapping out of some preoccupying thought. She comes towards the tables, pulls out a chair and sits down beside me.

"Now" she says almost tentatively but with a fixed air of determination, "Tell me everything that happened this morning"

My stomach plummets and my heart leaps to my throat. I feel all the oxygen in my lungs leave me and I suck in a tight, shaky breath. When I exhale, I begin my story.


End file.
